!@#$%^&^ COMCAST BILLED ME FOR THAT SERVICE CALL LAST MONTH.

And then I got the doomsday letter.

“XFINITY™ is coming. Soon you’ll enjoy TV, Internet anc Voice service made possible by Comcast’s upgrade to an all-digital platform … equipment may be required to receive ALL channels.“

The !@#$%^ Comcast office was crowded and had just two reps manning the counter. When I got to the counter, I told the rep that all I have are channels 3-20 and asked if I needed a converter or if the most basic basic channels would remain analog. The rep said I needed it. Then I asked about changing channels.

“Oh, you just set your TV to Channel 3 or 4. It’s easy,” she ‘splained.

“No. How do I change stations when I’m recording with a VCR,” I told her. “Say I want to record channel 7 at eight o’clock, change to channel 10 at nine, and channel 4 at ten?”

“Let me get you a service technician.”

He told me that wasn’t possible but, he said, I didn’t really need the converter because channels 1-26 weren’t scheduled to go digital.

Cool. I almost left right then but the rep contradicted him.

“All the channels will switch March 15,” she said.

Swell. Now I have three digital boxes that give me less service than my zero current digital boxes since THEY CANNOT BE PROGRAMMED TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

Yes, I am shouting.

And it took more than an hour to get them.

I get to pay more per month for less service. And that’s the story of dealing with !@#$%^ Comcast.

On the other hand, I met the man who owns the DC-3 in Marathon and I bought a yellow croton, so the day wasn’t a total loss.

!@#$%^ Comcast!

I use the “ecofriendly” auto pay to pay my (basic) cable bill + bundled Internet. I don’t get a paper statement. I don’t mail a check. Then !@#$%^ Comcast grabs whatever they want out of my checking account.

Mistake.

Big mistake.

An hour after I logged into my online cable account, I discovered a line item for $50 for “other services” like PPV or dirty movies. I don’t buy PPV or dirty movies; I can stream them free over the Internoodle.

We had a “service difficulty” around Christmas. Internet was slow, stupid, and balky for a couple of weeks. The !@#$%^ Comcast DNS server kept crashing. Life was lousy in South Puffin.

I called !@#$%^ Comcast and a week or so plus 3 hours later, a technician showed up. Nice guy. Name was Richard. He was pleasant, efficient, and pretty much had nothing to do since the problem was upstream.

!@#$%^&^ COMCAST BILLED ME FOR THE SERVICE CALL.

Good thing I noticed the charge was $50 higher than usual when I logged into my bank account this morning or I never would have known.

It took another hour this morning to load the “customer account page” and then wade through all the auto attends to get a live rep to get a credit. I really really really think they bill for these things and figure at least some percentage of their customers never protest.

Weeee! Free money. The credit will appear on next month’s bill, so they have yet another chance to use my money.

@#$%^ers.

!@#$%^ Comcast is apparently readying us for the changeover to a set top box. It may happen in North Puffin. It may happen in South Puffin. It may happen in one but not the other. Or vice versa. It may not happen in either. It may happen in both.

Nothing on @#$%^comcast.com tells me for sure what they are doing and to whom they are doing it. Or what they’re going to charge for the boxes. Or when it’s going to happen. !@#$%^&ers.

Here’s what Rufus had to say:

“!@#$%^&ers indeed. But the basic boxes (at least 2 or 3) will be free. HOWEVER you will not be able to — at least I can’t — record multiple sessions on different channels while you are away, since you will have to change channels on the box.

“I have three DVRs and three boxes (but the timer software/firmware on one box is dead.) Anyway, I can record on three channels (or could if I hooked up the third box) (if I’m willing to set up each separately).

“There is NO tuner you can get that will deal with their signal. It is not just digital, it has proprietary scrambling.

“You’re !@#$%ed.”

Progress innit.