July 19, 2010 by Dick.

A friend posted a news clip on Facebook, to wit:

Recently, a News 5 investigation collected samples from multiple beaches in and around the Gulf region. Samples were taken in areas where kids were playing and swimming. The results were absolutely terrifying.

Good thing she didn’t test for arsenic. Also a good thing she didn’t read any actual scientific papers, I replied.

It sure would be refreshing to find a local news anchor who had even the remotest clue about science.

Another Facebook buddy commented on the link.

“@Dick: Did you actually watch the clip? If you had, you would know that the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist (a “he”), and you’d also know that the sample was being tested for oil concentration, and underwent a surprisingly violent reaction that destroyed its Erlenmeyer flask because it contained an unknown component (dispersant? methane? they didn’t know).”

Pfui. He was trolling, right? Surely he must have been trolling. If he has heard the word Erlenmeyer flask somewhere, then he has enough technical knowledge to understand that (a) the reporter had no idea what she was talking about, (b) the report was full of scare stuff and devoid of much science stuff, and © Erlenmeyer flasks have flat bottoms. Jessica Taloney (the “she” I referenced) was the reporter. I don’t know if she has a flat bottom.

Robert Naman, the chemist “she” interviewed, told us that sea water typically has about 5 ppm of oil. The reporter scared us by saying “from 16 ppm to 221 ppm, our results are concerning.” Why? She didn’t tell us if 221 gallons of oil in a million gallons of sea water is fatal to humans or if it is only a problem when she needs ratings. She didn’t tell us if the oil in the marina (the highest concentration she measured) was from Deepwater Horizon or from a leak on the boat she used to dip the water. Marinas usually have higher concentration of oil in the water than beaches. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

But the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist.

Woo hoo. I Googled. Didn’t find anything about Robert Naman in the ACS rolls. The exploded flask did “contain an unknown component” so they speculated on how bad it was but SHE DIDN’T TELL US WHAT BLEW UP BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

“News 5 will test that water for chemicals, specifically chemicals linked to the dispersant being used in the Gulf, Corexit,” Ms. Taloney reported alarmingly.

Well, isn’t that special. Mr. Naman doesn’t know what caused the explosion but Ms. Taloney will make sure they hang it on a chemical she knows nothing about.

I’m not a chemist nor do I play one on TV. I have no idea, based on the “WKRG News” report, whether the amount of oil they found is a reasonable average for the areas they sampled, is toxic in the concentrations they did find, or even if it came from Deepwater Horizon. I have no idea because the reporter did such a lousy job. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

Unfortunately, my Facebook buddy (and WKRG “News”) want to make it into something that keeps us scared.

Gulf. Seawater. Explodes. And that, dear reader, is how the media deceives us.

Posted in Newspaper "Science", Stupidity, Media, Random Access | 1 Comment »

June 19, 2010 by Dick.

The networks made a big deal today of Tony Hayward sailing his yacht, Bob, in the clean waters of the English channel. There was one passing comment about President Obama playing golf. Yesterday the Prez visited a construction site in … OHIO.

“People here are not on their yachts today,” Senator Richard Shelby, R-AL, said. “I believe it’s the height of arrogance. He is the chief executive of BP, he was testifying in Washington and now he’s going out on his yacht in England.” Of course there were yachts sailing in the Gulf of Mexico today even if Sen. Shelby pretended not to know that.

Oddly, the networks didn’t show us a single image of Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Shepard Smith, or Brian Williams, all of whom were also enjoying a DAY OFF the job on a Saturday.

Mr. Obama called this the “biggest natural disaster” in the history of this country. Well, by golly, then he and Mr. Hayward should be out there personally scooping oil out of the water, shouldn’t they? Shouldn’t Ms. Couric, Ms. Sawyer, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Williams be out there, too?

I can understand that the people who live on or near the Gulf would get jacked up by the media with pictures of people relaxing on a day off. It really really irks me that the networks would send in their second team to stir up these troubled waters for no reason other than to sell toilet paper.

They all know better. And so, dear reader, do you.

Posted in Quickies, Stupidity, Politics & News | 3 Comments »

February 5, 2010 by Dick.

This is very disappointing. I tried to create a site account for YourOnlineEverythingCheapStore; it bounced me because their software did not recognize our municipality-issued, official 911 street address. There are darned few roads in North Puffin and each one has far fewer than six names. Couriers, common carriers, and fire trucks all have no trouble finding us.

OK, the fire department still needs directions that include “the locust tree we cut in 1976″ but everyone else uses the official 911 street address.

I called the EverythingCheap customer service line.

“It’s a computer problem,” Rachel told me. “We use a service to check for delivery addresses.”

I told her I tried my 911 address and every permutation I could think of. “Can you override the system,” I asked.

“No,” she said. “If we can’t guarantee delivery, we can’t enter it into the system.”

Even if I accept responsibility?

“No.”

I asked if that meant YourOnlineEverythingCheapStore didn’t want my business.

“I guess not,” she said.

Maybe they got enough stimulus money that they don’t need a customer like me. Or maybe they just don’t want customers.

Too bad, isn’t it?

Posted in Marketing, Business, Stupidity | 2 Comments »

November 23, 2009 by Dick.

My old friend Lido (”Lee”) Bruhl is a true believer in ObaMathematics^-1-. “We never made any claim to fiscal responsibility, as your Republicans keep doing,” he said this morning after he praised the Senate Health Bill. “The Republicans left the largest deficit ever, even allowing for two wars in progress.”

That has so many holes, I just don’t know where to drive my 18-wheeler first.

Fiscal responsibility. “I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits, either now or in the future.” Must have been a famous Republican president who said that.

“My” Republicans: Heh. I have retracted the Goofy vote. I keep trying to join the Librarian party. Unfortunately, they all want to shush me.

Deficits: Deficits are not a dick-sizing contest.

Warning: the following couple of paragraphs include actual fact and even two definitions about counting on your fingers.

The annual “Deficit” is simply the difference between government receipts and government spending.

The ongoing “National Debt” is the total cash money the federal government (that’s We the People) owes to the people and businesses and countries from whom the federal government has borrowed. The government “sells” Treasury Bills, Notes, Bonds and Savings Bonds, and more to our lenders. About 25% of the total national debt was held by foreign governments in 2007. Mainland China holds about $800 billion in addition to the $1.4 trillion cumulative trade imbalance. Each and every one of us We the Peoples owes about $30,400 on the national debt right now. Each. Cash money.

“George Bush left the largest deficit ever,” Lee repeated.

That’s simple obfuscation. There is no deficit “carryover.” The real issue is the national debt.

The United States has been a debtor nation since 1776. We borrowed money to finance the Revolution before we were even really a country. National debt varied through most of the 19th century and began a steady growth about 1910. F.D.R. and Harry Truman had Depression-era social programs plus World War II to pay for. They borrowed to do so. On average, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, and Carter grew the debt through 1980 at about the rate of inflation. In actual dollars, the national debt quadrupled under Reagan and George H. W. Bush and about doubled under George W. Bush although his early budget surpluses did decrease the debt from 2000-2002; it began to climb again with post 9-11 spending.

A more telling piece of data than the billions of debt dollars is how that debt compares to how much we actually make.

The Gross Domestic Product (GDP) measures how much all the goods and services we make sell for in a year.

Let’s compare how the national debt rose against how the GDP rose.

By 1940, F.D.R.’s spending programs had raised the debt to more than 50% of GDP. Eisenhower inherited a debt over 90% of GDP but gave a debt of 56% of GDP to J.F.K. The debt hovered in the 30% range through about 1980 as the go-go economy grew. It was back over 50% of GDP by 1990 and 58% when G.W.B took office in 2000. Bush spending made half the new bump but the tanking economy and real GDP contraction made the debt jump from 65% to 70% by 2008. Now, after a year of ObaMathematics and a flat economy, the national debt is about 90% of GDP.

The 2010 ObaMathematics Budget will bump the debt another 10% to about 100% of GDP. It will remain there as long as real GDP growth (after inflation) actually happens. Since the consensus estimates from most analysts show much smaller growth in GDP, the debt will actually soar past 100% as ObaSpending continues. The CBO projects the debt to double again (to $20 trillion) by 2015. Other estimates take it higher.

Only one American President, Andrew Jackson, ever dropped the national debt to zero. That was on January 8, 1835. Every other president of every political persuasion has increased it.

“I guess you would rather have McCain who would have been amazing on international affairs, but even he admitted he had no ideas or platform for domestic recovery?” Lee said.

Under the circumstances, when the economic “recovery” programs created with ObaMathematics have created somewhere just south of zero new jobs and will run up the debt service We the People must pay to $700 billion per year (seven hundred billion dollars), “no ideas” for domestic recovery sounds like a pretty good idea. Or at least a cheaper one.

We should always choose a President who does nothing over one who does everything wrong.

^-1-ObaMathematics is a combined arithmetic system in which “2 + 2 = 47,208″ for very large values of 2 and after borrowing from the “4.”

Posted in What? Are They Nuts?, National Debt, Stupidity, Politics & News, PC, Random Access | 1 Comment »

November 16, 2009 by Dick.

The good looking teachers are sorely under represented.

I really really loved my fourth grade teacher, mostly because she was a hot babe.

A well organized group of Burlington, Vermont, parents hammered the school board there last month. See, the Burlington School District (BSD) has a serious problem. It has nothing to do with test scores. As far as I know, there is no more bullying on campuses there than at any other school in the nation. Costs have risen exponentially but that’s nothing new.

Test scores continue to wane but many Vermonters do not believe in testing. Can’t be the 3 Rs.

Hazing still happens but Vermont parents know a holistic approach that considers the target, the bully, and the bystanders creates a dialog that stops unwanted behaviors and that the state does have a model Bullying Prevention Plan. Can’t be bullying.

The Burlington School Board is proud their district spends “$2000 less per equalized pupil than the statewide average.” Can’t be money, either.

It turns out that nearly a quarter of the students in Burlington schools are children of color and that figure far, far outnumbers the faculty and staff. Fewer than three percent of the teachers and staff belong to a minority.

Parents say the school must hire more minorities to give students a more balanced perspective.

“Diversity improves the vibrancy and quality and excellence of our schools. Diversity in many areas: geographically, linguistically, politically, in terms of gender, in terms of religious orientation. All of that diversity enhances the pool of ideas and the creativity and vibrancy of any institution,” Burlington parent Stephanie Seguino told WCAX-TV News.

The BSD reports it “has dedicated significant resources toward diversity awareness over the past eleven years, beginning with the creation of a full time director. [In 2008] the Board of Commissioners appointed Dr. Dan Balon … to be the new Director [of diversity and multiculturalism], bringing over 17 years experience in education management, non-profit agencies, and diversity education on a national scale to the position.”

Apparently, an equalized pupil is not a measure of diversity but rather a simple accounting term.

By all appearances, Ms Seguino and the other parents believe Burlington still needs an affirmative action program for faculty hiring.

Hello?

Oh. Wait. That’s correct. We do need teachers to bring a cultural understanding to the multiplication tables/

From Wikipedia , “The term affirmative action refers to policies that take race, ethnicity, or sex into consideration in an attempt to promote equal opportunity or increase ethnic or other forms of diversity. The focus of such policies ranges from employment and education to public contracting and health programs. The impetus towards affirmative action is twofold: to maximize diversity in all levels of society, along with its presumed benefits, and to redress perceived disadvantages due to overt, institutional, or involuntary discrimination. Opponents argue that it promotes reverse discrimination.”

BSD children will grow up to invent green energy products and teach other children.

The New England Common Assessment Program (NECAP) tests reading, writing, math and science in elementary and secondary schools. The annual achievement tests were developed to meet the Federal No Child Gets Ahead Act. The program is one of the primary yardsticks to measure school performance in New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont.

NECAP Scores: 15 (0.2%) BHS students qualified for the National Merit Scholarship Program last year and eight students (0.1%) won awards in New England’s Technology Student Association competition. On the other hand, 43% of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in math. 46% of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in science. A whopping 52% (that’s more than half for those in Burlington schools) of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in writing.

These children will elect representatives and pass laws.

By all appearances, Ms Seguino and the other parents believe Burlington will improve the 3Rs with an affirmative action program for faculty hiring where about 7 of every 16 Burlington students is “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in math.

These children will pay off the deficit?

I may have jumped to an incorrect conclusion, though. Do you suppose President Barack Obama uses different arithmetic because he is black?

Posted in Community, Stupidity, Politics & News, PC, Random Access | 2 Comments »