July 26, 2010 by Dick.

I must be a racist. After all, I’m white and conservative, and I don’t think we should have an African-American president.

There. I said it.

I AM™ absolutely convinced we should not have an African-American president.

Read the next sentence in full because regular readers know what I think of Mr. Obama’s ability to govern. I’m perfectly OK with Barack Obama as a black man or a “person of color” or a purple man with pink polka dots but we ought not have an African-American president.

We should have an American president. Period.

Anyone who thinks we should have a hyphenated president is just plain nuts.

“No person except a natural born Citizen … shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.” Not a natural born citizen of Europe. Not a natural born citizen of Antarctica. Not a natural born citizen of Africa. A natural born citizen of America. Those who become citizens here by birth or immigration are no longer citizens of somewhere else. They are Americans, darn it, not European-Americans nor Antarctic-Americans nor African-Americans.

Americans.

This whole argument irks me. Are there racist idiots in the Tea Party? Absolutely. Are there racist idiots in the Communist Party of the United States? Positively. Have the Lefty Loons trotted out the race card every day since 2008 to deflect us from their failed policies? Without doubt. Have the Tighty Righties stupidly responded to those slurs over and over again? Right again.

Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean called Fox News “absolutely racist” on Fox News Sunday. Vermont state veterinarian Robert Johnson also says there have been an unusual number of fox attacks this year, but it’s not cause for alarm. The latest attack happened a couple of weeks ago in Bennington when a rabid fox bit 8-year-old Rimmele Wood on the leg. His father killed the fox with an ax.

Some of our liberal friends are probably considering that solution for Fox News.

Perhaps everyone, not just the Wood family, needs the rabies shots. As my roofer friend Dino likes to say, sometimes I think I fell down the rabbit hole and we’re wandering around with Alice in Blunderland.

Posted in Society, What? Are They Nuts?, Politics & News, PC, Media, Random Access | 1 Comment »

July 19, 2010 by Dick.

A friend posted a news clip on Facebook, to wit:

Recently, a News 5 investigation collected samples from multiple beaches in and around the Gulf region. Samples were taken in areas where kids were playing and swimming. The results were absolutely terrifying.

Good thing she didn’t test for arsenic. Also a good thing she didn’t read any actual scientific papers, I replied.

It sure would be refreshing to find a local news anchor who had even the remotest clue about science.

Another Facebook buddy commented on the link.

“@Dick: Did you actually watch the clip? If you had, you would know that the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist (a “he”), and you’d also know that the sample was being tested for oil concentration, and underwent a surprisingly violent reaction that destroyed its Erlenmeyer flask because it contained an unknown component (dispersant? methane? they didn’t know).”

Pfui. He was trolling, right? Surely he must have been trolling. If he has heard the word Erlenmeyer flask somewhere, then he has enough technical knowledge to understand that (a) the reporter had no idea what she was talking about, (b) the report was full of scare stuff and devoid of much science stuff, and © Erlenmeyer flasks have flat bottoms. Jessica Taloney (the “she” I referenced) was the reporter. I don’t know if she has a flat bottom.

Robert Naman, the chemist “she” interviewed, told us that sea water typically has about 5 ppm of oil. The reporter scared us by saying “from 16 ppm to 221 ppm, our results are concerning.” Why? She didn’t tell us if 221 gallons of oil in a million gallons of sea water is fatal to humans or if it is only a problem when she needs ratings. She didn’t tell us if the oil in the marina (the highest concentration she measured) was from Deepwater Horizon or from a leak on the boat she used to dip the water. Marinas usually have higher concentration of oil in the water than beaches. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

But the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist.

Woo hoo. I Googled. Didn’t find anything about Robert Naman in the ACS rolls. The exploded flask did “contain an unknown component” so they speculated on how bad it was but SHE DIDN’T TELL US WHAT BLEW UP BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

“News 5 will test that water for chemicals, specifically chemicals linked to the dispersant being used in the Gulf, Corexit,” Ms. Taloney reported alarmingly.

Well, isn’t that special. Mr. Naman doesn’t know what caused the explosion but Ms. Taloney will make sure they hang it on a chemical she knows nothing about.

I’m not a chemist nor do I play one on TV. I have no idea, based on the “WKRG News” report, whether the amount of oil they found is a reasonable average for the areas they sampled, is toxic in the concentrations they did find, or even if it came from Deepwater Horizon. I have no idea because the reporter did such a lousy job. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

Unfortunately, my Facebook buddy (and WKRG “News”) want to make it into something that keeps us scared.

Gulf. Seawater. Explodes. And that, dear reader, is how the media deceives us.

Posted in Newspaper "Science", Stupidity, Media, Random Access | 1 Comment »

January 24, 2010 by Dick.

According to Frank Rich in a New York Times op-ed, the Massachusetts Massacre “was not a referendum on Barack Obama, who in every poll remains one of the most popular politicians in America.”

Huh?

I don’t want what Mr. Rich is smoking; that’s too much milk and honey for my blood.

With identical approval/disapproval ratings of a record low 47%, I’m thinking he isn’t as popular as Mr. Rich would have us believe. Nixon had a 56% approval and only 20% disapproval rating a year after his inauguration. Even Jimmy Carter was still 51% approval and only 28% disapproval after a year. Reagan had slipped to 49% and 39% by then but was back to 63% to 29% immediately before he left office. Bush 41 was 79% to 10%, far better than Clinton’s 53% to 38%. And, not surprisingly, Bush 43 had 84% approval and only 13% disapproval a year after his inauguration.

I guess Mr. Obama’s “most popularness” is “as compared to Adolph Hitler.” Or to Barney Rubble.

Oddly, David Pogue used his New York Times column this week to decry manufacturers who fudge their numbers.

Posted in Quickies, Politics & News, Media | 4 Comments »

December 3, 2009 by Dick.

Tiger Woods has proven yet again that when a man thinks with his little head, he might run into things with his big one. At least that’s what every pundit on network news says.

Mr. Woods made big news last week after driving his Cadillac Escalade into a fire plug. A neighbor called 911 to report that the accident and that he was “laying [unresponsive] on the ground.” Citing privacy and no requirement to do so, Mr. Woods talked neither to state troopers nor the media for three days after the accident.

He broke his silence to apologize for his “transgressions.”

“Apologize”?

“Transgressions”???

His wife, Elin, may very well have tried to beat him to death with a nine-iron, for heaven’s sake.

The billion dollar spokesman for all things manly blew a unique opportunity to stand up for common sense. He should have used his bully pulpit to stand up for men’s health.

The 14 most popular men’s health searches on webmd.com, in the order given, are gout, masturbation, jock itch, sex, vasectomy, chest pain, premature ejaculation, low testosterone, enlarged prostate, testicle pain, penis discharge, psa, ulcers, and colon cancer.

Fully half of the questions have to do with sex. A couple more if you consider that sex is probably what drives most men to have their prostates checked.

The ulcers question could round it out to an even ten if those ulcers come from grief we men get about sex. Or nine-irons.

Mr. Woods could have done what I’ve waited for politicians and public figures to do for decades: he could have spoken the truth.

Imagine if Tiger Woods had called a news conference. The networks would have sent all their “entertainment” talking heads, all their sports reporters, and even some actual news reporters. The State Police would have shown up. Heck even the Army Times would have been there.

“Is this thing on? I want to thank you all for coming today. I have a short statement and a handout for everyone here. It is in color and uses small words so everyone in the press corps can get it right on the news tonight.

“See this chart?” Mr. Woods could have said. “It is the most important thing I can say to you and to all my fans.”

The Five Things Men Need Most for Good Health

• Eat tomatoes
• Wear your seat belt
• Quit smoking
• Stop eating so much
• Avoid cancer

“Orgasms don’t hurt you, either,” Mr. Woods could have said.

“Now, the question you all want to ask is this: ‘Did I have sex with that woman?’ Well, ladies and gentlemen, yes, I did. So what? It’s none of your business. None. If you want a story, print something useful. Otherwise, go home and the real story will be ‘News Media Refused to Publish What Tiger Said about Men’s Health’.

“Thank you all for coming to sunny Florida on this cold and rainy day in your northeastern offices.”

Oh, yeah. And it occurs to me that if I crunched my Escalade against a fire hydrant in North Puffin instead of Windermere, Florida, nobody in the media would care or notice. Even if someone had tried to beat me to death with a nine-iron.

Posted in Sex, Society, Politics & News, PC, Media, Random Access | 6 Comments »

August 24, 2009 by Dick.

Earlier this month, Steven Pearlstein wrote in the Washington Post, “As a columnist who regularly dishes out sharp criticism, I try not to question the motives of people with whom I don’t agree. Today, I’m going to step over that line…”

I was late to the party; comments on the Post site are already closed.

Mr. Pearlstein propagates three significant falsehoods in stepping over his critical line.

(1) It may be true to say the recent attacks by the ideological right … [are] a flat-out lie whose only purpose is to scare the public and stop political conversation, but Mr. Pearlstein ignores the fact that the recent attacks by the ideological left … [are] the same lies whose only purpose are to scare the public and stop political conversation.

(2) The vast majority of Americans will likely not be able to to buy health insurance from private companies when, as happened in Vermont, the ever tightening rules run private insurers out of town.

(3) The centerpiece of all the plans is not a new health insurance exchange. The centerpiece of all the plans is a new trillion dollar tax, a fact Mr. Pearlstein calls “Another lie.” The fact is, Mr. Pearlstein, that health care in America is a TWO trillion dollar annual expense. If the government raises that amount in taxes and dispenses it for health care, that makes it a TWO trillion dollar annual tax.

I agree that “Health reform is a test of whether this country can function once again as a civil society.” One that both sides have failed. It is a test, in fact a war, that so far only the media, the lawyers, and the politicians have won.

Sorry, Mr. Pearlstein, but fighting a war with fiction isn’t right no matter which side of the angels you think you are on.

Read all about ObamaCare here.

Posted in ObamaCare, Quickies, Media | 2 Comments »