Category Archives: Society

Pop Goes the Weasel

Posted on by

First week of the first month of Spring and it’s time for Random Fancies! Today, I’ll link barber shops and movie tickets and inflation, something I am doubly unqualified to do1.

My first real job (it had a paycheck and withheld taxes and everything!) was as an usher in the Warner Theater six miles from home and I whiled away some of my college hours managing the Lee Theater about six miles from school. I have good memories.

I got a raise to a buck an hour when the Warner’s maintenance man retired and the ticket price rose to a buck about the same time. (Minimum wage had jumped to $1.25/hour by then.)

Having Love Story at the Lee for 14 weeks, then getting transferred to the Criterion for the New Year’s Eve premiere of Nicholas and Alexandra was enough for my movie career. I have been to the movies since then but I don’t go very often. I was blown away when I saw that tickets to Les Mis cost $12.50 each.

People may complain more about the cost of popcorn (movie popcorn prices have popped disproportionately to average theater ticket prices over the last almost-100 years) but ticket prices make the better indicator.

My first haircut was, well let’s just say I had pretty, long hair at the time. And not a lot of language skills. And I got a lollipop. My folks believed in the “butch” cut, so the barber never had much trouble performing, other than to get me to sit still.

I rebelled the summer before I went away to school. OK, I told my mom I was too busy to get it cut. At any rate, it had grown out to almost an inch long by the time I got to Hoboken. And it kept doing so.

I haven’t been to a real barbershop since about 1967. One of my roommates taught me how to trim and more-or-less shape it in the mirror. Later, I taught SWMBO how to trim and shape it quite well. Even she stopped cutting it in 2004 when I ripped the kitchen floor up in Renovation, v. 2, the Sequel. I’ve kept it pretty short using the mirror again since I shaved my head for Cap Cancer in 2009. I was blown away when Rufus told me a $15.00 haircut was a bargain.

Those prices have climbed faster than the CPI which Federal Government uses to figure inflation. Or the PCE which the Federal Government uses to report inflation when they don’t like the CPI. Or the Chained CPI which the Federal Government uses to obfuscate inflation when they don’t like the CPI or the PCE.

There’s no hyperinflation if you believe the official statistics.

We need a better indicator.

Youtube is crowded with Quick Belly Inflation guides, most of which use air compressors.

We really need a better indicator.

The fact that hamburger “sale” prices have quadrupled while Uncle Sam tells us inflation is flat shows that Harper’s new Inimitable Impressive Inflationary Indicator is practically perfect.

Haircuts and movie ticket costs tell us
more about the economy than the BLS’
poke-in-the-eye-with-a-sharp-stick.

Here it is. The Harper Inimitable Impressive Inflationary Indicator, occasionally known as the Dick Stick:

INFLATION IS HIGHER THAN REPORTED WHEN:
HAIRCUT + MOVIE                                             
—————————     >     A GALLON OF GAS
2                                          

1 Unlike, of course, the majority of economists today.
In 1965 a six-pack of your average American beer cost just 99 cents, too.

 

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Posted on by

In Charlotte, Vermont, in 2008, a school got hammered to take down its candy cane decorations because a grinch there says they have an overt Christmas message. Federal Reserve examiners in 2010 told a hometown bank that it must remove crosses, Bible verses, and Christmas buttons because they could be offensive. The Fed says the Christian paraphernalia violated federal bank regulations. In 2012, the owner of a New Jersey business faced thousands in fines because he installed a 40-foot tall inflatable Santa Claus on his retail store rooftop. CANDY CANES and SANTA! The Menorah and the Glitter Moon and Star for Ramadan probably stayed up at the school, though.


christmas bird

Every radio station has defaulted to Christmas music. I’m surprised we haven’t lost that, too. I don’t particularly like Christmas music but my radio has an off switch. I don’t have to listen to it if I don’t want to.

I was raised in a family that was Quaker on one side, Presbyterian on the other. I may not be as organized now as I was when I reached the age of accountability and joined the Presbyterian church but I am still a Christian. And, of course, a WASP.

You don’t have to be either.

Tomorrow is the day Christians celebrate the birth of the Christ child and the meaning of Christianity. It was a pretty big day before the stock exchange took it over.

It doesn’t mean Do unto all the other religions, then cut out. Unless you are a Member of Congress.

Here’s the thing. If you offer food to the monks on Vesak, Buddha’s Birthday, I will honor your commitment to the poor. If you celebrate Diwali, the Festival of Lights, I will honor with you the victory of Lord Ram over the demon-king Ravana. If you fast during Ramadan when the Qur’an was revealed to Mohammad, I will honor your patience and humility. If you celebrate the most solemn and important of Jewish holidays, Yom Kippur, I will honor your atonement and repentance. If you light the candles of Kwanzaa, I will help you honor your heritage. And if you are a lib’rul atheist, I will not proselytize.

That maybe the most important message.

Not one American soldier in Afghanistan, Australia, Bahrain, Belgium, Canada, Cuba, Egypt, Germany, Greece, Greenland, Guam, Honduras, Indian Ocean, Iraq, Italy, Japan, Kuwait, Kyrgyzstan, Netherlands, Portugal, Puerto Rico, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, Spain, Thailand, Turkey, the United Kingdom, United Arab Emirates, or the United States has forced any man, woman, or child to convert to Christianity at the point of a gun this year.

You don’t have to be a Buddhist, a Hindu, Islamic, a Jew, a Kwanzaan celebrant, or an atheist. It is time, on this Christian holy day, to let Christians be Christians.

My right to impose my own beliefs stops at my property line (or the end of my nose when I’m out in public). The Charlotte, Vermont, grinch’s right to his own idiocy stops at pretty much the same place. It is time to stop accepting that “politically correct” credo and start honoring the true message of Christmas.

Scythian philosopher Anacharsis wrote in the 6th century BCE, “Wise men argue causes, and fools decide them.”

Peace.

This column originally appeared on Christmas Day, 2008. It required very little updating.

 

Protest Too Much

Posted on by

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

“O, but she’ll keep her word.”

But will she?

Shakespear and others of that time knew that the word “protest” meant to “vow” or “declare solemnly.” Gertrude thought the Player Queen went a little over the top with her promises. Taking the modern approach, I think the Player Queen got a little skewed with her mission.


Protesters Holding the Wrong Signs

Tens of thousands of protesters swarmed Washington yesterday because a black kid got shot running from a crime.

Not one protester was upset about the number of crimes committed by actual criminals. Or the crimes committed by the protesters. Some are calling this movement the “new Civil Rights” but no one takes responsibility for the old (un)civil behavior.

Some pundits believe as I do that it’s time for the Civil Rights movement to grow up, take responsibility, and forge ahead.

Are there some bad cops? Sure. There are about 15,000 law enforcement agencies in the United States with more than 750,000 sworn officers. That many people means there are some bad actors but the data shows that police officers commit very few crimes relative to the population they swear to protect.

1,163,146 violent crimes were reported in 2013 nationwide. More than 720,000 ag assaults accounted for 62.3% of that. Almost 350,000 robberies (29.7%), 81,000 rapes (6.9%) and about 14,000 murders (1.2%) made up the rest.

The question you have to ask yourself is, who should get most of your attention? The few bad cops or the 1,163,146 criminals?

End Gang ViolenceWhere are the protests over unarmed black men shot in drivebys?
Where are the protests over unarmed black women shot in bedrooms?
Where are the protests over unarmed black children shot in “neighbor disputes”?

No Looting BurningWhere are the protests over drug dealers on the corners?
Where are the protests over vandalism?
Where are the protests over arson?

Stop Robbing UsWhere are the protests over burglaries?
Where are the protests over armed robberies?
Where are the protests over smash-and-grabs?

Those are the crimes in neighborhoods like yours and mine. Those are the crimes you expect cops to prevent. Those are the crimes you say are the cops’ fault.

Who is the actual pig in this story?

Some pundits believe as I do that it’s time to stop letting old demagogues like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson blame everyone but the criminals for all the crimes. It’s time for the Civil Rights movement to grow up, take responsibility, and forge ahead.

We’ve all seen the current crop of protest signs. I like my signs better.

This might could or even might be the start of Civil Rights 2.0.

 

Kill the Pigs

Posted on by

[please note that the title has nothing gekko’s porcine potluck provisioning poast.]

Neighbors shot it out in Liberty City yesterday. Again. A 3-year old girl was caught in the crossfire. The shooting started as a dispute between neighbors when bullets started flying. She was outside playing with her brother and friends when she was hit. Cops and paramedics rushed in. The little girl will be OK.

That’s just another day in the life of a police officer. It might have included a traffic stop (will they shoot me or spit on me?), a crash with injuries (will an innocent die?), a next of kin notification (how can they do that?), a burglary (is there a perp with a gun in the house?), a mob of looters (is that a brick or a stolen radio or a ham sandwich?), or a shoot out in Liberty City.

All of those incidents are adrenalin-rich but they may feel less dangerous than walking down the street to the cop on the beat who knows there could be a sniper in a shelter or a bomber with a backpack or a criminal on crank increasing his pressure on the trigger right now.

My daughter found this public troll on Facebook. She reproduced it with her own comment:

Somebody Needs to Kill Them All

“This is a posting from someone who lives in Vermont just five minutes from my house. For the purposes of this lesson, I removed the identity of the owner of the post; however, I was able to see the post without ‘friending’ him.

“The anger is real and it is on our doorstep. As the wife of a police officer, these are troubling times. Simply being a police officer makes a person ‘guilty by association.’

“We need to stand up for our police officers. I’m ready for a picket line in support of our officers. It’s about time.

I’d walk that line, too, but it will take more than that. See, this isn’t the first time — even in Vermont — for some nincompoop to put a target on the men and women who serve.

Kill the Pigs
In this case, our Vermont poster could well be the idiot offspring of a 60s flower child who chanted the title phrase in San Francisco before moving east.

Those seminal protesters weren’t so original after all. Cecil Adams at
StraightDope tell us, “If you thought the term pig arose in the 1960s, you’re in for a surprise.

“The OED cites an 1811 reference to a ‘pig’ as a Bow Street Runner–the early police force, named after the location of their headquarters, before Sir Robert Peel and the Metropolitan Police Force. Before that, the term ‘pig’ had been used as early as the mid-1500s to refer to a person who is heartily disliked.”

For the record, I’ve yet to meet a liberal who liked being called “pissylittledramaqueen” or a police officer who liked being called “pig.”

Did you ever wonder why that cop looked you over — twice — when you walked past?

Did you ever wonder if it were the fact that cultured, ivy league you just screamed “Kill the pigs” and he wondered whether you meant to do it right now?

I don’t wonder about how we raise protesters. This country was founded by protesters.

I do wonder how we raise people who can praise burning down their town, praise looting my store, and praise murdering all the cops all while they condemn a cop for killing a likely lawbreaker.

Who will save your butt:
Remember that the “talk down, not take down” proponents are the ones who run away from the flying bullets and that police officers run toward them.

 

Giving Thanks

Posted on by

Today is America’s primary pagan festival again, celebrated to show love to the gods for a bountiful harvest on a New England day in which fields are now mostly covered in snow and which George Washington proclaimed as a day of thanks as a national remembrance.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor, and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me ‘to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness’.”

While it is easy for this curmudgeonly writer to kvetch about the corruption and thievery stretching from here to Washington or to fret about the desk I write at, those are just everyday irritants and (thankfully) I know how to fix them.

I am thankful my grandfather at age 94 decided to live out his very good life in the Keys.

I am thankful I have the ability, the tools, and the wherewithall to fix the roof of the house my grandfather and parents lived out their very good lives in the Keys in.

I am thankful I started my life as an engineer and am now spending some of it as an artist.

I am thankful that Anu reminded me of a word and a writer (The Tontine by Thomas B. Costain) I have enjoyed since I started eating turkey at the grownup table.

I am thankful we will have friends here today.

I am thankful my children, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren are happy, healthy, and will be well fed again today.

I am thankful Anne is here today and will be here tomorrow.

I am thankful for Anne and for Nancy, two loving, caring, beautiful ladies. I am blessed.

And I have pah!

This column mostly appeared last year because being thankful goes on year round. The original Thanksgiving Perspective is here.