Category Archives: PC

Used Food

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Pugnaciously parsimonious.

Regular readers will remember that Rufus says I am a “c-h-e-a-p   b-a-h-s-t-i-d” so I also think long about what most things cost before buying.

I’m not the first in the fambly to have that trait. My great grandfather was a Quaker farmer who never threw anything away which largely explains the size of the moving van we needed when we moved to North Puffin. I really believe in reduce, reuse, and eventually, recycle.

My mom coined the term “used food” when the grocery store would mark down the day old meats in the refrigerated meat case. We’ve expanded its meaning.

Dented CanI see an upside down cake in my future.

SWMBO and I keep our own grocery bills as low as we can by shopping the used food store for dented cans. That emporium is a liquidation center that clears out “zoins” — the pallets of rejected non-perishables from grocery stores. My mom always worried that the dent could damage the can coating and at the very least change the taste of the contents. We’ve never had a problem.

There are some rules to follow with used food.

Bulging or bloated can?
What? Are you nuts? Cans bulge and bloat when bacteria outgasses.

Push on the top and bottom of the can
If the lid moves or pops, throw it out.

Rusted cans
Rust weakens the floor of Vermont cars and lets bad stuff in. Does the same for cans, doncha know.

The can sprays when you open it
A can ought not spray or explode when you open the lid with a can opener or screwdriver or Swiss Army knife. Safe dented cans will open the same as non dented cans.

Foods that have abnormal odors should not be eaten.

Lots of new laws went into effect in Vermont this summer.

I hadn’t realized just how just stupid Vermont lawmakers are. All food scraps must be recycled back into consumption by 2020. The best of my food scraps, after sitting on my summer porch, will help feed people, lawmakers say. Oh it’s good to be poor in Vermont.

Oh yeah, bags of trash cost an extra 25 cents to toss now, and bulk trash an extra $10 per ton. Canceling the fees for recycling is just the first step in an effort to keep everything that can be recycled or composted out of Vermont landfills by 2020, the goal of the state’s Universal Recycling law, Act 148. Mandated recyclables. (Sounds really good, except the trash haulers still pay for recyclables by weight.) Otter stuff. And this.

It is the policy of the state that food residuals collected under the requirements of this chapter shall be managed according to the following order of priority uses:
(1) Reduction of the amount generated at the source;
(2) Diversion for food consumption by humans;
(3) Diversion for agricultural use, including consumption by animals;
(4) Composting, land application, and digestion; and
(5) Energy recovery.

Back to the food on my porch. Our trash hauler retired (he didn’t want to buy a new truck to split recyclables) so we make a “dump run” every couple of weeks. In that time we fill two or three barrels with mixed recyclables and one large bag with household garbage. Uncooked chicken trimmins. The bones and skin of that small mouth bass. And the mouse I caught last Monday. Mmmm. Smells soooooo fine. Oh, my.

I good with #1. We do need to cut down on the amount of food we throw away. This is Vermont, for heaven’s sake. Thrifty farmers. Make do folk. And #3, #4, and #5 are great.

I may have to rethink this whole “used food” idea, though.

 

I Made a Little Listicle

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We need a Language Cop.

I may not mean what you think.

English may be the greatest language ever invented. It’s certainly the greatest language ever Darwinned.

OxfordDictionaries.com revels in the language trends behind its latest update to the English lexicon.

• acquihire n: buying out a company primarily for the skills and expertise of its staff
OED page• binge-watch v: watch multiple episodes of a TV show, one right after the other
• clickbait n: content whose main purpose is to draw visitors to this web page
• cord cutting n: practice of cancelling a cable or satellite subscription or landline phone
• geocache n: Since my kids have been geocaching for so long, it surprises me this didn’t make the list years ago
• humblebrag n & v: (make) an ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud
• listicle n: an Internet article presented in the form of a numbered or bullet-pointed list
• octocopter n: I want one
• side boob n: I like them
• time-poor adj.: spending much of one’s time working or occupied; I’ve always liked the term “land-poor” for families with more grass than cash
• vape v: drag on an e-cig.

I’ll post and tweet some clickbait to this listicle. Two other words in this sentence made earlier Oxford lists.

English may be the greatest language ever.

• Linguist Max Müller said, “English spelling is a national misfortune to England and an international misfortune to the rest of the world.”

Nobody ever said it was easy to be great.

• Where else would we find homonyms, homophones, homographs, and heteronyms?

It was a fair day when I went to the country fair to pay the fare for a pair of pears. Fortunately I did not tear the bag which might have caused me to tear up.

• Our resourceful language borrows most every word you or I speak from some other language and prodigiously lends many of them back.

The band played guitars, a mandolin, fiddle, banjo, and bass at the Summer Sounds concert yesterday. Guitar comes to us from the Arabic qi-ta-ra or qai-thara which originally descended from the ancient Greek kithara. A bass is not a fish when it has strings. There were no hazards at the concert other than the threat of rain. Unlike the linguists in France, we can borrow hazard from the medieval French hasart.

We need a Language Cop. We need to keep the languages of our settlers old and new alive but we also need to assure we can talk to each other. Ket, the language spoken in Central Siberia, is vital. Abenaki is a small but significant member the Algonquian languages of northeastern North America. Zazaki is an indispensable Indo-European language spoken primarily in eastern Turkey by the Zaza people.

I love that some of our words come from Ket, and Abenaki, and Zazaki.

I see red every time I hear “Press 1 for Ket” from a telephone system.

I’m glad we do include Siberians and earlier Americans and Iranians in our culture but if we really want to include Siberians and earlier Americans, and Iranians in our culture, then the phony Liberals have to get out of the way and let the Siberians and earlier Americans and Iranians learn to speak to the English and Spanish and Tag-A-Log speakers who live next door. In the common language their adopted country has adopted.

The best way to do that is for us all to learn English, too.

That’s the key. English is the greatest language ever simply because it remains so common, so accessible, so complete.

The phony Liberals are those who insisted the Voting Rights Act include help for “language minority voters.” Hello? Only citizens can vote. Citizens take the oath in what language? The phony Liberals are those who insisted that school textbooks be printed for “language minority students.” Hello?

We do need a Language Cop. We need a Language Cop who will arrest the phony Liberals who insist on shackling the Siberians and earlier Americans and Iranians and Spanish and Tag-A-Log speakers so they can’t speak with each other.

Carpe dentum … seize the teeth.
–Mrs. Doubtfire

 

Do You Want Fries with That?

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Yes or No.

Pierre Krahenbuhl, the commissioner general of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, appeared on CBS Face the Nation yesterday for a quick question-and-answer.

OK, maybe not so quick.

Mr. Krahenbuhl used 450 words — about the length of a typical newspaper editorial — to avoid answering two simple, yes or no, questions: Are your facilities protecting Hamas members? and Is Hamas using children as human shields?

Norah O’Donnell sat in for long time CBS host Bob Schieffer.

NORAH O’DONNELL: Are your facilities protecting members of Hamas?

Pretty simple yes or no question, wouldn’t you think?

PIERRE KRAHENBUHL: Look, I think what you have to get a sense of is we have two hundred fifty thousand people now sheltered in our schools as a result of the intensity of the conflict that is going on in Gaza. Some of these people have received instructions from the Israeli Defense Forces to leave areas that they were living in. Others fled the fighting. And because we have numerous school buildings throughout the Gaza Strip, we have been able to accommodate them in about ninety school buildings. And so this is very clear under international law that these are premises that are protected. The sanctity of which have to be respected by all parties and so, of course, when they are shelled it is something that is unacceptable in any sense. Now, we have also had incidents — and there were three — in the course of inspections we carried out we have identified weapons caches that were in the premises, something that we made known to the world in a very proactive and transparent way because those ways of endangering our premises by placing weapons in them are unacceptable and we condemn them unreservedly.

192 words.

It was a “yes” or “no” question.

“Can I rinse your plate?” SWMBO asked as we finished breakfast right after hearing that.

“Well in the grand scheme of the surface chemistry, as we study the chemical reactions at the interfaces, we’re really looking at heterogeneous catalysis. The adhesion of the food molecules to the plate is known as adsorption. This can be due to either chemisorption or by physisorption. … ” I began, just getting wound up.

“It was a yes or no question.”

NORAH O’DONNELL: Mm-Hm.

“There are 1,500 dead Palestinians, you know,” my friend Nola Guay said. “That far outnumbers the 64 Israelis killed. How is it fair that so few Israelis are getting killed?”

What, are you nuts? I’m thinking when you poke a bear with more than 2,500 rockets, you gotta prepare to pay the price.

Ms. O’Donnell asked the most important questions.

NORAH O’DONNELL: Israel says that Hamas is using civilians, children as human shield. Is that what you found?

Ms. O’Donnell asks yes or no questions, doesn’t she?

PIERRE KRAHENBUHL: What we’ve found and what we know is that when armed forces be it in this case, the Israeli Defense Force or non-state arm groups as the groups present inside Gaza, all of them are bound by rules of international law and humanitarian law which regulate the way in which military operations and combat is taking place in any conflict around the world. And in the case of Gaza, because of its very densely populated environment, all of these military operations have a great risk of endangering the civilians. And that is the case for all of the actors involved. Yes, there are certainly behaviors that expose the population on the ground by militant groups that operate close to civilian premises. But, certainly, if you look at the extent of the damage, the extent of the physical destruction but also the extent of the loss of human life and I witnessed that myself visiting this week the pediatric ward in the main hospital in Gaza seeing the broken bodies of the children there, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that insufficient measures of precaution and control and protection are being taken, including by the Israeli Defense Force when engaging in Gaza. And the message I’ve heard repeatedly this week by civilians in Gaza is that they don’t feel safe anywhere. And what they’ve been saying to me is if we are not safe in an UNRWA school building, where are we going to be safe.

Mm-Hm.

247 words this time and not a single “yes” or “no” to be found.

Ms. O’Donnell asked the two most important questions. And she didn’t get an answer.

Worth noting is this commentary that Mr. Schieffer offered on Face the Nation last week:
In the Middle East, the Palestinian people find themselves in the grip of a terrorist group that has embarked on a strategy to get its own children killed in order to build sympathy for its cause, a strategy that might actually be working, at least in some quarters. Last week, I found a quote of many years ago by Golda Meir, one of Israel’s early leaders, which might have been said yesterday. “We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children, she said, “but we can never forgive them for forcing us to kill their children.”

That was just 96 words.

Mr. Krahenbuhl and the agency charged to maintain international peace and security could take a lesson. So could the Hamas apologists who conveniently forget those inconvenient 2,500 rockets.

 

The Perfect Game

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I attended an Inclusive League baseball game on Saturday.

Because all North Puffin children are equally good players, tall and strong, the kids from 6-17 all play hardball together in Inclusive League games. Baseball is a great game, especially here where our League team started up just a couple of years ago. The kids have uniforms, thanks to a Town grant, and a new regulation field next to the hockey rink.

I don’t usually go to games or even watch baseball on TV but I like the game. My dad and I listened to Birds games when we were on the boat. I even attended a Diamondbacks game a couple of years ago. I loved the Ken Burns series but I had mostly stopped watching games back when my friend Jon Matlack was pitching for the Mets. He won a lot of games, but he never won any when I watched. Since pro ball is steeped in superstition, I quit watching and he started winning again. You’re welcome, Jon. Still, Google delivered 1,080,000 results about “baseball musings” in .34 seconds.

North Puffin Red Sox Home UniformWe were there because Bobby, my friend Lido “Lee” Bruhl’s grandson, was starting in his first game as shortstop for the North Puffin Red Sox which is named for the Boston team. There are no Yankees fans in North Puffin.

Bobby is a great kid but he’s not a very good athlete. He is a little overweight and a little under-coordinated and is often not quite sure how his feet fit. Pretty much the same as 90% of the kids I know.

His mom is an elementary school educator and knows that Bobby’s self-esteem is his armor against the challenges of the world and she knows, absolutely knows that the way to improve his self-esteem is to praise his every activity.

“I teach compassion. Feeling good about yourself is crucial to every other facet of life,” she said.

Bobby had four at bats. He whiffed all three times his first time at the plate.

“Good job, Bobby,” his mom called from the fence line.

Second at bat. He got just little piece of the ball almost by accident and sent a little dribbler back toward the mound. Bobby isn’t a very fast runner and was maybe half way down the base line when the pitcher drilled the ball over to first.

“Great job, Bobby,” his mom called from the fence line.

Third at bat. Bobby asked me not to write about that one.

“You’re doing great, Bobby,” his mom called from the fence line.

Fourth at bat.

The first pitch kind of meandered toward the plate. Swing and a miss. Strike one.

The second throw got away from the pitcher and was high and outside. Ball one.

The third pitch really got away and was high and way outside. The opponents had a terrific catcher. Ball two.

Fourth pitch. Fastball right down the middle. Strike two.

Bobby has trouble with fast balls. Inclusive League pitchers aren’t supposed to throw curves; parents of young pitchers have decried curveballs because contorting elbows that way strains the young joint more than arms can handle. It turns out that a major study showed curveballs pose no greater risk to young arms and elbows than any other pitches. In fact, several other studies say the real problem is throwing too many pitches of any kind, not just curveballs.

Doesn’t matter. Bobby can’t hit a curve anyway.

The pitcher felt confident. He had been practicing his curve and knew he could get Bobby to chase it. Except the ball didn’t get anywhere near the plate and Bobby wasn’t ready anyway. Ball three.

This was the eighth inning. The Red Sox were down one with runners on first and third.

Bobby stood there, waiting. He was calm, his bat on his shoulder.

Final pitch. Fastball right down the middle. It was a perfect pitch. Bobby reared up and swung for the stars. And missed the ball by about a foot. Strike three.

“You did terrific, Bobby,” his mom called from the fence line.

Kids understand a lot more than adults give them credit for. A kid knows, for example, when he or she excels in a sport. And when he or she sucks at it.

When I was a kid, if I struck out or just dribbled the ball down to the pitcher, some coach would have taken me aside and show me how to hit a little better. Then he’d make me drop and give him 20 and spend an extra half hour in the batter’s cage. I could never have hit one of Matlack’s fastballs, but I did learn to do a lot of pushups. And once I grew into my feet, I diverted my desire to be a jock into swimming and racing cars, instead of sports where I might be adequate but never good.

Telling Bobby “good job” will activate his BS meter.

Telling Bobby “terrific job” will peg the meter.

I don’t understand why Liberals like Bobby’s mom insist on making cynics of Bobby and all the rest of our children.

 

Roundup

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Not the grass assassin. Some juicy tidbits have flowed in over the last couple of weeks while I was out goofing off.

Idle Hands
In the great state of Vermont, it is now illegal to let your car idle for more than five minutes during any one-hour period, thanks to a law that went into effect last week. Violators will receive a $10 ticket for the first offense, $50 for the second, and $100 for the third.

Police, fire, and other emergency vehicles don’t have to obey that law so when the cops write you that first, second, or third ticket because your car is “idling” in a Shelburne Road traffic jam next January, you can bet the police car will be running the entire time.

Sheesh.

Garbologists
Socrates TeachingAn “educational technology specialist wants students to connect with the land, and to grow with it. Literally.” So sayeth the newspaper about a man who teaches at a local elementary school. Students spent a day outside with him as they planted blueberry bushes, apple trees, and blue spruce trees in a field behind the school nature center.

“Educational technology specialist”?

We used to have “educators.” Probably then “educationalists.” Now “educational technology specialists.” What is wrong with calling someone who goes hands on with classroom students a “teacher”?

Sheesh.

A Fatal Wait
Speaking of gummint, veterans have languished and died on the VA’s secret list.

VA hospitals are killing people by not getting around to caring for them. At least 40 vets have died waiting for appointments at the Phoenix Veterans Affairs Health Care system alone, all while VA managers there tried to hide that some 1,400-1,600 sick veterans were forced to wait months to see a doctor.

Just a foretelling of what to expect as the Unaffordable Care Act (like HealthCanada) looks for ways to cut the cost of affordable care.

Sheesh.

Apologists
Some Liberal apologist will come along and remind us that the idle law will increase health benefits, cut down on carbon emissions, and save fuel.

No. Vermonters don’t need a nanny law for that but it will certainly help the ticket nazis raise revenue.

Some Liberal apologist will come along and remind us that teachers are professionals and the descriptors help lay people to understand what educators and educationalists and educational technology specialists do.

No. Vermonters know what teachers do. Teachers need to act professional, not make up multi-syllabic titles and print business cards.

Some Liberal apologist will come along and remind us that the Veteran’s Administration and the Health and Human Services (which runs the ACA) are completely different departments.

No. VA is funded by Congress. Obamacare is funded by Congress. That’s a CF. As funding declines and managing-the-finger-pointing increases (the usual route for any government program), we’re gonna die.

Fortunately, two apples a day reduces the risk of stroke by 32%.