It’s all about the sex.

Word.

We have found that the really lascivious posts attract the most readers and the most comments. The dull political posts attract George and ofttimes Rufus.

Here’s an example: “The US is going overboard stomping on the rights of all citizens to avoid inconveniencing a few citizens.”

I could see my Sitemeter™ spiral down to zero.

Then there is Fred and Gwen and Bonnie and Carol. “I’m thinking about joining you and Carol at the Comfort Inn on Thursday night,” Gwen will soon tell Fred.

The Sitemeter™ just went ballistic.

Alright, I’ll talk about the sex.

It’s really really good, sex is.

Over there, gekko talks about change.

Come gather ’round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin’
Then you better start swimmin’
Or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin’.

In real life I’ve spent more than enough years herding cats. I thought about that while pounding nails yesterday — that and wondering why we haven’t brought management experience to bear on the question of change in relationships.

In the business world, we “change the rules” all the time. We buy new businesses, expand the product line, hire and fire employees, and generally do what it takes to grow the company. In our personal lives, we codify the rules. We maintain the status quo, keep the same product line, keep the same employees, and generally do what it takes not to rock the boat. Seems at odds with the old saying that a man marries a woman hoping she will never change and a woman marries a man planning to change him.

Except the old saying proves the “no change” explicitly. Man wants no change in his woman. Woman wants her man to change to match her image.

And nobody in that equation wants growth.

Sex is the commodity that drives that model.

“I think our society is completely upfucked about sex,” correspondent Peppery Patti wrote. “We have this romance novel idea that one person is going to satisfy our every need — intellectual, emotional and sexual, and dammit that just has to work or else. Sometimes it does.”

Sex drives the model because it is both the currency and the lingua franca that some couples use to bind themselves together. And, as our friend Dean “Dino” Russell says, the sex was just to get you to read about the color of the day. Pink, I think.

If you go on this fancy cruise,
I’ll make it worth your while.
If you buy me that shiny car,
I’ll warrant you a smile.
If you take me to our children,
I’ll pledge a big bouquet.
If you toss that other woman,
I’ll promise a BJ.

“The spouse who [steps out] is not, never was, a reflection of any lack on the part of the partner,” Nancy wrote. “It is, rather, a reflection on change.”

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?

Maybe, just maybe, we keep worrying about the sex because we don’t want people to notice we’re worrying about the change.

Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I’m sixty-four?

[Editor’s Note: gekko and I shared a four-part polylocution plus these Afterglow posts. Please visit her piece, You Are Not a Mall, and use The Poly Posts index for the entire series and for other resources.]