Take It Back

“Did he mean this as a joke?”

Some back story: A few election cycles ago, conservatives formed Take Back Vermont in response to the then-new law that established civil unions for same-sex couples.

Take Back Vermont wanted to do more than repeal civil unions. It was wanted to shackle the affluent, liberal, Democratic flatlanders who were changing both the laws and the values of the state.

Looking back more than decade later we see the movement was a flop. Liberal Vermont still flirts with socialized medicine (bad) and has done what it should have done in the first place by passing a marriage law that allows any loving, unrelated couple to marry (good).

Professor Louis SeidmanThe Take Our State Back folks have scattered.

A Georgetown Professor of Constitutional Law told the CBS Sunday Morning audience that it’s time to “Take our country back, from the Constitution.”

Didn’t he learn anything from Vermont?

Professor Louis Seidman wants all of us (and presumably all of the lawyers he trains) to stop paying attention to the Constitution and instead consider what process and policies we need to move the country forward.

“To be clear, I don’t think we should give up on everything in the Constitution. The Constitution has many important and inspiring provisions, but we should obey these because they are important and inspiring, not because a bunch of people who are now long-dead favored them two centuries ago.” Professor Seidman said.

Oh. This could be good. We’ll keep the all parts I like and dump the ones I don’t?

Cool.

“All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.” That’s not very inspiring. Congress has an approval rating of about minus 362 percent. Let ’em get real jobs and leave the rest of us alone.

“The Congress shall have Power … To borrow money on the credit of the United States.” I’m thinking the purse snatcher who charged the big screen TV on Anne’s credit card is Congress’ stupid younger brother. Let’s jettison that one, too.

“Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort.” Oh, no. In these Patriot Days, we need to deep-six that. Treason against the United States must, must consist of whatever the President says it is. I can dig it.

John AdamsExcept. Except as dead white guy John Adams wrote in his letter to the officers of the First Brigade of the Third Division of the Militia of Massachusetts, “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

Zealots often use that quote for religious purposes but I see the rest of the words. Mr. Adams believed that the U.S. Constitution was inadequate to govern the immoral.

The world is full of politicians like Professor Seidman who seduce us with promises of loose morals and anarchy.

The danger was summed up by an Egyptian protester yesterday: “the president must resign and a new constitution must be written” to replace the Morsi sham. Egypt’s current Sharia-based document replaced the 1971 Mubarek charter.

If we are to take back our own country, we have to start making decisions for ourselves, and stop deferring to an ancient and outdated document,” Professor Seidman said.

Alrighty then. No more irrelevant dead white guys.

All you Muslims, listen up. The Koran is no longer your law. All you Englishmen, listen up. The Magna Carta is null and void. All you African Americans, listen up. Professor Seidman has retracted the Emancipation Proclamation.

“Democracy depends upon its people not acting out of blatant self interest,” Glenn Peacock wrote on the Internoodle recently.

“We are doomed,” Rufus said.

Perhaps not. Maybe Professor Seidman’s talk was simply a Saturday Night Live skit that got to the wrong network.

CHARGE!

Did your favorite store charge you a little extra today?

Maybe, if you charged it as 181 million of your card carrying neighbors will.

Starting today, your local grocer or gas station or corn store can tack on a surcharge for credit card use but no one seems to care.

credit card logosThat surcharge is tied to a lawsuit settled last July. Visa, MasterCard and a group of other large financial firms agreed Friday to forfeit a total of $7.25 billion to settle a colossal anti-trust action. The defendants will offer cash payments worth $6.05 billion in total; Visa and Mastercard agreed to reduce their “swipe fees.” That’s the other $1.2 billion. As part of the agreement, retailers will soon be able impose a surcharge of up to 4% for credit card transactions in all but 9 or 10 states. Such surcharges will also apply to cardholders from other networks, like Discover and American Express.

The U.S. District Court decided that merchants can pass along credit-card interchange fees to customers. That contentious ruling is under appeal.

Permitting surcharges is a slippery slope. Consumer advocates agree.

Who knows? Phone and cable TV companies could decide to pass on “regulatory fees!”

Oh. Wait.

“If a national sales tax of 2, 3, or 4 percent were being proposed, everyone would be up in arms.”

“The only reason everyone is NOT is that they haven’t a CLUE this is coming,” Rufus said. “I am guessing that what percentage they charge will be used as a marketing variable along with interest rates, and there will be substantial churning in terms of who uses what card.”

The change went into effect today.

Interestingly, Florida is one of the states with protection laws that prohibit surcharges; the others are California, Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Massachusetts, New York, Oklahoma, and Texas. Arizona and Vermont are conspicuous by their absence.

More interestingly, there are plenty of gas stations right here in Florida that charge a surcharge (or at least a higher price) for credit card purchases than cash.

“I had NO idea this was coming,” Rufus said.

Actually there are gas stations up and down I95, not just in Florida, that charge a surcharge (or at least a higher price) for credit card purchases than cash.

I’ve gotten caught a couple of times but generally I will not buy from those stores. And I usually tell them why. Now I find out that it wasn’t just a bad business practice. It was against the law.

The Interchange fee cost is already built into pretty much everyone’s pricing, from Amazon and American Airlines to Zoom Telephonics (remember them?) and Dr. Zelazo. If a company offers me a discount off the existing price for paying cash, I might take them up on it but if they try to hold me up for 4% more when they are already hiding that in their cost of doing business, I’ll take my bidness elsewhere.

Anyway, watch your charges.

Fuhball

footballCBS has scheduled 60 Minutes not even to start until 8 p.m. here in the eastern time zones tonight. The Texans and the Patriots started duking it out in Boston at 4 and no one figures that game will end early.

I’m thinking even Presidential addresses wait until football is over. In fact, the Super Bowl is on the calendar on February 3. Rep. Boehner (R-OH) invited the President to deliver the State of the Union on February 5. The NFL figures even triple overtime with commercial breaks won’t go quite that long.

Predilection for Prediction

It is indeed the official day for prognostication.

I predict it will not snow in the Keys again this year. It pretty much never snows here but we had the first ever sighting of razorbills in December, so you never know. They’re strange little North Atlantic seabirds that look like flying footballs. The global climate change-driven colder water up north could be the reason a few decided to be snowbirds here.

We will not see 99.9 cent gasoline again until TSHTF. I remember 29.9 cent gas but I was earning about a buck an hour at that time. On the other hand gasoline stayed under a buck from the 1920s until 1980 and had about a 26-year run below $2 that ended in about 2006.

!@#$%^ Comcast’s CEO Brian L Roberts says he has learned from Apple how to “make things fun.” The very fact that the head of the second most reviled company in America is even talking to Apple sent shivers through the tech world. (Mr. Roberts told Forbes that his company has lost subscribers throughout his tenure due to increased competition and the fact the company didn’t offer the “best suite of products.” It had nothing to do with the fact that they raise prices $1 each and every time a customer finds a better choice.)

I don’t think Apple will use Bombast to roll out AppleTV. Apple’s cash pile could hit $200 billion next year. Comcast’s market cap is about $97 billion. I predict Apple will BUY !@#$%^Comcast and make it AppleTV.

According to a new Pew Research study, 85% percent of U.S. adults own a mobile phone but only 56% have a smartphone. Worldwide, the total number of smartphones passed 1 billion last year. There are 6 billion cell phone subscribers on Earth. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer declined to comment on whether Microsoft would make its own smartphone but Microsoft is working with component suppliers in Asia to test its own smartphone designs. Since there are an astonishing 85 million adult cellphone users in the U.S. without a smartphone (and a corresponding 5 billion worldwide), Microsoft doesn’t need to think about early adopters. Microsoft doesn’t need to think about iSheep. Microsoft doesn’t need to think about Droids. I predict Microsoft can win the smartphone race if it simply gets most of the newbies.

gadgetsI further predict I will not get a smartphone in 2013.

I believe there will be a 2013 NHL season. I predict no one will notice.

I further predict that police will disarm samarai  sword-wielding naked men. But probably not in the District of Columbia.

The Belgian monks at St. Sixtus Abbey will give up the title of priciest beer when BJ’s discovers New Amsterdam Amber and prices it at $99.99 for six bottles.

Last year, the cash-strapped Ukraine charged Did Moroz (the local version of Father Christmas) impersonators an income tax. Florida will see that as a revenue stream and impose a tax on Santas.

The FBI will continue searching for Kenneth “D.B. Cooper” Conley, one of the convicted bank robbers who escaped from a Chicago high-rise jail and hailed a cab to make his getaway.

A new diet will sweep the cognoscenti with Twinkies and sugar free tonic water. I predict that I will not eat any of that.

Yesterday, I wrote, “Over the last couple of years, I’ve replaced or repaired most of the little things that plagued me and stole the time I needed to do all the fun stuff I wanted to do.” I predict I will sell the Honda and buy a pellet stove. I may buy an iPod dock but that’s iffy.

Stocks will rise. Bonds will fall. Investors will be late to the game.

Word enthusiasts will ban “fiscal cliff.”

Finally, (and this is the hardest crystal gazing I’ve done) America’s national politicians-for-life, will add more than another trillion dollars to our debt and “kick the can down” the road for another year. I predict that (a) the U.S. Congress approval rating will sink below 20%, (b) the U.S. Congress will form three committees to investigate the bankruptcy sale of Hostess Twinkies to Miguel Angel Treviño Morales, and (c) the U.S. Congress will declare a War on Guns.

Oh.

Wait.

Those were freebies, aren’t they?

OK, I foresee that the world did not end on December 21.

Last Day

Everyone else is looking backwards today, but that’s simply too too easy. After all, we can sum up this year (and last year and the year before that) quite simply:

America’s national politicians-for-life, faced with a $16,352,743,884,513.53 debt and a bank that turns into a pumpkin at midnight tonight, decided to fight the War on Guns instead. (This follows the War on Drugs and we all know how well that worked out.)

Maybe they have finally realized that the Arab Spring of 2012 could become the American Spring of 2013.

~ ~ ~

I have just finished a loverly vacation. The weather was beachy. Marathon had a sand castle contest and Key Weird opened a sculpture exhibit with unicycles. We chased fleas, talked to birds, sang to sea lions, and took about 2,600 pictures, the digital equivalent of 72 rolls of film. And through it all, it did not once snow in the Florida Keys.

I don’t make New Year’s Revolutions but I would like to make a few changes in my life. For the record I am blessed with the two best friends a man could have and I don’t particularly want to add stuff. I bought the best camera I’ve ever owned last month. I have a couple of pretty good computers and plenty of pocket electronics. I don’t need an airplane.

I need time. See, this year I want to
hit a home run, even in the minors;
revisit the 40 states I’ve already photographed and visit the rest of them for the first time;
win the lottery;
hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon (as long as there’s an elevator back up);
sell an invention;
sell 100 photographs;
sell a book;
and reduce my use of serial semi-colons.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve replaced or repaired most of the little things that plagued me and stole the time I needed to do all of the above:
the gas chainsaw that never ran (bought an electric);
the hydronic heating pipes that freeze in the winter (installed an antifreeze pumping system);
the satellite receiver that didn’t receive (they sent me another);
the IT client who lied to me, chewed up hours of time to repair stuff their prior service company did wrong, then refused to pay (shed same);
the pellet stove that stopped burning (I stopped trying to repair it and bought an exhaust fan);
my iPod dock (put a couple of powered speakers in service instead);
the slow leak in a couple of car tires that the fixes never seem to last and always seem flat when needed (ongoing);
and the new TV that hums in the external speakers (diagnosed but not fixed).

It’s time to stop having to fix the little stuff.

That all means 2013 will be the year Mr. Fixit puts a new roof on this house, digs up the sewer line, and has to drag the seawall out of the sea, innit. At least I shall endeavor not to take on new clients.

Happy New Year!


No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
— Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
–Mark Twain

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
— Mark Twain

Thanks to the Congress, the public debt rose $3,009,622.24 between 11:59 a.m. and noon today.