Burning Man Will Not Be Held in South Puffin this Year

Posted on Monday, August 24, 2015 by Dick

It’s not because of the bugs. We have plenty of bugs in the Keys but that is apparently a new phenomenon in Black Rock City.

“DEET can save you in the Keys but we’re committed to the dry heat, not the tropics for our art,” founding board member Crimson Rose told me.

The Nazi Treasure Train and Donald Trump were trending on Facebook yesterday.

“Maybe you should write about the treasure train visiting South Puffin,” Liz Arden told me this morning.

Nah. Not much is happening in South Puffin right now. In fact not much happens in South Puffin at any time so it’s unlikely the train would make a stop here.

I got to playing with a Random Headline generator this morning because not much is happening in South Puffin right now.

Heat Fans Pissed about Kanye’s Honorary Doctorate, Administration Unfazed
That could be true but with a twist. The School of the Art Institute of Chicago did indeed grant the rapper an honorary doctorate for his “transformative, genre-defying work.” See, the college dropout grew up in Chi-town and did a quickie show for da Bulls after receiving the honor from SAIC. I’m thinking our Heat fans didn’t even know.

The “Cruel” Twist in Netflix’ Bloodline Spinoff
All 13 episodes of the original Netflix series were shot in and around the Upper Keys although the stars did appear in South Puffin’s excellent restaurants from time to time. As far as I know, Netflix has no plans to renew Bloodline, let alone spin off the disappointing Florida noir into black sheep Danny Rayburn (actor Ben Mendelsohn) running a grimy Carnival cruise ship aground in Boot Key Harbor.

I live kind of back of beyond. The directions to the house in Vermont are simple: “Drive to Canada. Turn left. Stop when you hit water.” The directions to my house in the Keys aren’t much more complicated.

Ms. Arden likes to remind me that there is not the Endless Entertainment (even on Wednesdays) that she finds in Southwest Puffin. With a million people, there’s a social event around every corner in Southwest Puffin. With hundreds of industrial employers, there are great jobs in Southwest Puffin. And, of course, get everywhere fast by subway, or bus, or trolley in Southwest Puffin.

I gave all that up for the blessings. Havana is closer to Key West than Walmart. Every big city has cars and factories and overpopulation, belching dirty air and dirtier water. Parking is impossible. Lines are long. Crime is high. The streets are n-o-i-s-y.

Almost every day, I can try to catch a cow on a hook for dinner. As Kenneth Grahame wrote, “Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing — absolutely nothing — half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” Or messing about on the beach near the boats. And our criminals are much quieter.

Intrigue! For those who want the real story, two treasure hunters claimed to have found the “Nazi gold train” packed with gold, gems and money from 1945, all buried in a hill in Poland. The Silesian Research Group says they found the train two years ago but someone stole their treasure map.

Orange Is the New Hitler, quoth the Random Headline generator.

And none of the headlines are true in South Puffin.

King Coal

Posted on Wednesday, August 19, 2015 by Dick

Having learned how by stealing General Motors from stockholders like thee and me, Mr. Obama has now done the same to the coal industry: he broke it and is handing it to his supporters.

“Filings with the Securities and Exchange commission show that between April and June this year Soros Fund Management (SFM) bought more than 1 million shares in Peabody, the world’s largest private coal company, and 500,000 shares in Arch.”

In 2009, Mr. Soros pledged to spend $1 billion of his own money on renewable energy at Al Gore’s urging and funded the Far Green “Climate Policy Initiative” thinktank. At the time, he said: “There is no magic bullet for climate change, but there is a lethal bullet: coal.”

A spokesman for SFM declined to comment on the investments. Wotta surprise.

Wordless Wednesday

Posted on Wednesday, August 19, 2015 by Dick

PreDICKtions

Posted on Monday, August 17, 2015 by Dick

A few weeks ago, I boldly predicted that the general election would be Trump v. Sanders.

The candidates the media pretends can’t win:
A Wall Street Journal editorial says Donald Trump taps into the worst of the electorate.

The harsher Des Moines Register editorializes that Mr. Trump should “pull the plug on his bloviating side show.” Bloviating?

WaPo asks “Was Bernie Sanders really lying about the effect of budget cuts?” Lying?

The candidates the media pretends can’t lose:
The NYTimes reports ever so hopefully that Gov. John Kasich is rising in the polls in New Hampshire, winning endorsements and drawing new voters to his appearances who were impressed with his debate performance.

The Atlantic calls Maryland’s Martin O’Malley “a Democrat’s dream candidate. In two terms as the governor of Maryland, he’s ushered in a sweeping liberal agenda that includes gay marriage, gun control, an end to the death penalty, and in-state college tuition for undocumented immigrants. He’s trim and handsome; he plays in an Irish rock band.”

“He has become ‘the distraction with traction’ — a feckless blowhard who can generate headlines, name recognition and polling numbers not by provoking thought, but by provoking outrage.”

Back to Mr. Trump and Mr. Sanders.

One candidate attracts working class voters with caustic slander about entitlement and abortion and Iran and the economy and repealing the 2010 Unaffordable Care Act. He does not provoke thought, but rather provokes outrage.

Oh. Wait. I can’t tell if that list is Mr. Trump’s or Mr. Sanders’.

Mr. Trump can’t win. Except he got a better reception at the Iowa State Fair than Sarah Palin, Barack Obama, or George W. Bush.

And Mr. Sanders can’t win. He even schooled Chuck Todd on why he is nothing like Donald Trump. Except he’s wrong again; he’s exactly like the Donald, a blowhard who has tapped into the same sentiments for overthrowing the status quo.

The “feckless blowhards” might just win their primaries.

And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Back in 2008, I wrote

We need a loose cannon running for President, darn it. After all, the President sets policy, not the Vice President. The President writes pardons, not the Vice President. The President vetoes bills, not the Vice President. The President gets the glory and the barbs, not the Vice President.
Candidates who want to “change the system” don’t want to change the system; candidates who want to change the system actually want their own policies implemented in the system. A true loose cannon doesn’t care about the system. A true loose cannon will subvert the system and find a way to get some real work done.

Now for the Veep.
Getting the work done probably means having an actual politician around for those days you have to game the system. Elect a politician Vice President.

Messrs. Kasich and O’Malley both talk a good game. Both have achieved big political gains within their own states.

I think either would make a great V.P. for their respective parties.