
Author Archives: Dick
Ayup
Another of our randomly local stories.
Street sign theft has become a budget issue for a many municipalities. Peeps steal the signs as pranks, on a dare, for decoration, and even to claim the sign was missing to beat a ticket. “Signs that are unusual or amusing tend to be stolen more frequently.”
The theft is often costly and inconvenient (and can possibly be dangerous) for the municipality or agency that owns the sign. In the United States, street signs generally cost between $100 and $500 to replace although, according to the Washington State Department of Transportation, the bigger freeway signs cost between $30,000 and $77,000. Radio host Dori Monson has a word or two to say about that on MyNorthwest.com.
I know I’m tempting fate but I’m pretty sure no one has ever stolen North Puffin’s Abblesnaffy Boulevard sign.
Embden, Maine cannot say the same for Katie’s Crotch.

The Maine town spends hundreds of dollars every year to replace their stolen street signs. Fortunately, Maine doesn’t contract with WashDOT.
Katies Crotch Road starts in East New Portland, crosses Gilman Stream, and parallels the Carrabassett River before ending on Route 16 connects Embden. I’m thinking every wag who dates a Katherine envies those road signs. Town officials unsuccessfully proposed changing the name to just Katie Road at Town Meeting on Saturday.
The road has been known as Katies Crotch since long before there were street signs in town but no one fesses up to knowing why. There used to be a tavern run by a woman named Katie on that road. We don’t know what kind of Katie she was, but eyebrows generally wiggle when that story is told. Another explanation leaves out the tavern but has that a woman named Katie used to live on the road and would sit on her porch wearing no underwear. Eyebrows waggled a lot more with that. A less intriguing story has it that a family with the last name Katie used to live at the intersection with Route 16, and “crotch” referred to the V shape of the intersection. I think it’s named for the tree that grew there that six-year old Katie climbed and perched in before she was taken from us in that unfortunate accident with the timber truck and biplane.
Zillow lists a nice looking, 768 square foot, 1 bedroom, single family camp on 1.66 acres on Katies Crotch Road. Water views and everything.
That sign may be the most stolen in the country. The Selectboard chair says the thefts occur so frequently that “you would think every dorm room in the state of Maine should have one by now.” It cost $200 last year alone, not including labor, to replace the one road sign in Embden. A previous motion to rename the street failed in 2012.
Fortunately, the measure for a new Interstate with an Embden exit (and the accompanying $30,000 sign, approximated below) also failed although Troy, Michigan reports that their Big Beaver Road, Exit 69, is only the seventh most stolen road sign in the nation.

Wordless Wednesday
I Solved the Problem!
Lots of people believe that all they have to do is shout and they solve the problem.
Bernie Sanders hectors us on falling family income and wealth inequality and sticking it to Wall Street.
Donald Trump blusters about politicians and immigration policy and making America great again.
Oddly, this column is not about politics. I don’t care if Mr. Sanders has a higher net worth than 85% of his fellow countrymen nor what country Mr. Trump was born in.
The AARP has a great series of “Take A Stand” ads that I simply had to plug. See, their braying, trumpeting characters take us to a larger truth.
Real people point us down the same road.
“I had my say,” my friend Ashley Proctor says, satisfied. Having had her say, she can go on about her day with the warm feeling that she solved whatever problem that angered her.
Ms. Proctor thunders on regularly about how I don’t want people to get health care and the evils of non-traditional marriage and even how long it takes to defrost a turkey (longer, she thinks, in the frig than in a cooler).
Do you suppose that yelling at me about any of those will change my mind or change her life?
My friend Dean “Dino” Russell regularly rants on Facebook about ethanol in gas and solar deniers and illegal aliens. He mostly uses ALL CAPS.
I’m absolutely sure Dino knows that the people who agree with him just nod and click “Next” and those who don’t agree with him just shake their heads knowingly and click “Next,” too.
And yet we still have ethanol in our gas (and the price of corn has quintupled) and the entertainment industry still thinks E.T. should be able to vote.
I worry that soooooo many of my friends think that bombast is all it takes to change the world.
So what’s the problem? Pissing in the wind is a good thing, right?

