Author Archives: Dick

Par-tay

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This is Poly House Party Weekend!

June 3-5 marked the first ever international DIY festival celebrating my polyamory my way. Of course, it could also celebrate your polyamory your way. And his. And hers. And theirs.

Organizers David Trask and Jessica Karels suggest it will be “kids of four parent households, poly-fi triads, primaries and their play partners, the ethically non-monogamous, the happily unpartnered with their lovers, the incidentally monogamous, the polysaturated, the overly or overtly single, the doubly heartbroken, the label-resistant, those too-complex-to-explain, and our wonderful not-wired-that-way supportive allies.”

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
–Socrates

Poly House Party weekend could have barbecues and keggers in Seattle, pot lucks and raves in Philly, picnics and blues dances in New Orleans, play parties and Tantric retreats in Montreal, game nights, field days, fundraisers, cuddle parties, and a black tie dinner in Key West.

“It is a community bonding experience, our way–because everyone will do it a little differently.”

I want a good wife. I’ll take a couple of them if they’re good enough.
–Mark Twain

The South Puffin Par-tay is a little different than everyone else’s. I cooked up my special batch of pulled pork (easy on the nyuk nyuk jokes, there, big fella) for the last few days and Joe came over for dinner.

See the girls are somewhere else. Or I am. One is taking apart a decrepit hot tub and the other has a weekend tournament which means I get to spend the Poly House Party weekend feeding my neighbor and making fun of Rufus’ taste in beer.

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
–Lyndon B. Johnson

“Does not living together make polyamory easier?” Our long-married friend, Polly Dent, asked. She and her husband Paul live together and on the same block as his lover.

It certainly makes the logistics easier. Cuddle parties are unusual when the guests of honor show up on a Skype conference call.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
— Katherine Hepburn

Ahh, Kate. Who’d have thunk you were a hermit, too?

Nancy has retaught me the value of solitude without the negative of being alone. Anne has told me how much she likes to regroup alone occasionally.

Turns out that our polyamory our way includes a remote cabin.

[Editor’s Note: gekko and I shared a four-part polylocution plus these Afterglow posts. Please visit her recent piece, Regarding Bonobos, and use The Poly Posts index for the entire series and for other resources.]



Premte Peeves

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I like a good fish story.

We have 2.7 English language radio stations here in South Puffin. One has awakened me for years with a program called the Morning Mix. I like it because Anne O’Bannon and Josh Mothner have assembled a cohort of interesting people to talk with. My mornings have each had an hour of newsy chat about the schools, the community theater, real estate, politics, law enforcement, road repair, and even water sports.

The Morning Mix has changed.

CJ Geotis, a “life-long fisherman who followed his dream to live in the Florida Keys” is a business consultant, fishing columnist, and now radio host. He has hosted the morning show for a while now with fish after fish after fish story. And his show seems to go on all morning long.

I like CJ; I miss the variation of the Mix.

Tropical Tuesday

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I live on an island I can drive to. All of our water comes down a big pipe from the United States. We can turn our water heaters off in the summer because the sunlight adds plenty of heat on its way south.

Less than three-quarters of an inch of rain has fallen on Key West since January 27. Even the smattering of rain that fell a couple of weeks ago as part of the mini-tornado that uprooted a neighbor’s tree brought no relief to our arid islands.

The South Florida Water Management District has a Flash front page. Too bad for visitors from the green and crunchy Appleland.

“Persistent rainfall in the upcoming wet season is needed to replenish groundwater, canal and lake levels,” the SFWMD reports. “Meteorologists have predicted drought conditions will extend into the beginning of the wet season.”

Water Shortage Modified Phase XXVII restrictions are in place. Watering is not allowed between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. The odd-numbered street addresses may water lawns and landscapes on Wednesdays and Saturday, midnight – 10 a.m. or 4 p.m. – midnight. The even-numbered street addresses and peeps with no street address have Thursdays and Sundays.

I don’t know quite how you can have plantings that need irrigation with no street address.

New landscaping, sod, or other plantings can be watered without restriction on the first day, then on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays during the 4 p.m. – 10 a.m. hours for the first month as it gets established.

Landscape irrigation using reclaimed water is not restricted.

For years, the Ixora under my carport got watered weekly by the output of the washing machine so they became tolerant of feast and famine. Pumping that much water under the foundation of the house has made me a little nervous so I bought a modern washer that uses 3.2 cups of water per year. The bushes suddenly look mighty thirsty. I may have to take in some neighborhood laundry.

Meanwhile, I moved the old washer across to the other side of the carport and plumbed its outfeed down to the lawn. I put it out there so Rufus would have someplace to bathe. The end of the drainpipe hides under the hedgelike hawthorn at the corner of the lawn. Turns out the scorpion family hides under the hawthorn at the corner of the lawn, too.

Rufus learned that when one scampered across his foot after he ran the washer. Scorpions apparently don’t like floods.

Rufus was not amused.

George Poleczech says his manor lawn is suffering from the drought. “I’m also doing my part by erecting wooden sunshades to protect the plantings and by peeing in the yard,” he wrote. He has his favorite bush.

“It is not looking well lately.”

My advice: Add a little branch to balance the pH.

The rainy season officially begins tomorrow.

Memorial Day

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Today is Memorial Day in the United States. The holiday once known as Decoration Day commemorates the men and women who perished under the flag of this country, fighting for what sets our America apart: the freedom to live as we please.

“Holiday” is a contraction of holy and day; the word originally referred only to special religious days. Here in the U.S. of A. holiday means any special day off work or school instead of a normal day off work or school.

The Uniform Holidays Bill which gave us Monday shopaholidays moved Memorial Day from its traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May. Today is May 30 so perhaps we can shut up and salute.

Lest we forget, the Americans we honor did not “give their lives.” They did not merely perish. They did not just cease living, check out, croak, depart, drop, expire, kick off. kick the bucket, pass away or pass on, pop off, or bite the dust. Their lives were taken from them by force on battlefields around the world. They were killed. Whether you believe they died with honor, whether you believe our cause just, died they did.

Today is not a “free” day off work or school. Today is not the big sale day at the Dollar Store. Today is a day of Honor.

“All persons present in uniform should render the military salute. Members of the Armed Forces and veterans who are present but not in uniform may render the military salute. All other persons present should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart, or if applicable, remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart. Citizens of other countries present should stand at attention. All such conduct toward the flag in a moving column should be rendered at the moment the flag passes.”

[Image] The American flag today should first be raised to the top of the flagpole for a moment, then lowered to the half-staff position where it will remain until Noon. The flag should be raised to the peak at Noon for the remainder of Memorial Day.

There are those in this country who would use today to legislate the man out of the fight. They can do that but the men and women we honor today knew you cannot legislate the fight out of the man. They have fought and they have died to protect us from those who would kill us. And perhaps to protect us from those who would sell out our birthright.

There is no end to the mutts who would kill our men and women and would kill their own. If I had but one wish granted on this day, I wish not another soldier dies. Ever. But die they did around the world again this year and die they will. For us. For me.

Because those men and women died, I get to write these words again this year. And you get to read them. Please pause and reflect as you go to a concert, stop at an artist’s studio, or simply read a book in the sunshine the price we pay to keep our right to do those things.

Editor’s Note: This column is slightly updated from one that appeared first in 2008.