This is Poly House Party Weekend!

June 3-5 marked the first ever international DIY festival celebrating my polyamory my way. Of course, it could also celebrate your polyamory your way. And his. And hers. And theirs.

Organizers David Trask and Jessica Karels suggest it will be “kids of four parent households, poly-fi triads, primaries and their play partners, the ethically non-monogamous, the happily unpartnered with their lovers, the incidentally monogamous, the polysaturated, the overly or overtly single, the doubly heartbroken, the label-resistant, those too-complex-to-explain, and our wonderful not-wired-that-way supportive allies.”

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.

Poly House Party weekend could have barbecues and keggers in Seattle, pot lucks and raves in Philly, picnics and blues dances in New Orleans, play parties and Tantric retreats in Montreal, game nights, field days, fundraisers, cuddle parties, and a black tie dinner in Key West.

“It is a community bonding experience, our way–because everyone will do it a little differently.”

I want a good wife. I’ll take a couple of them if they’re good enough.
–Mark Twain

The South Puffin Par-tay is a little different than everyone else’s. I cooked up my special batch of pulled pork (easy on the nyuk nyuk jokes, there, big fella) for the last few days and Joe came over for dinner.

See the girls are somewhere else. Or I am. One is taking apart a decrepit hot tub and the other has a weekend tournament which means I get to spend the Poly House Party weekend feeding my neighbor and making fun of Rufus’ taste in beer.

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
–Lyndon B. Johnson

“Does not living together make polyamory easier?” Our long-married friend, Polly Dent, asked. She and her husband Paul live together and on the same block as his lover.

It certainly makes the logistics easier. Cuddle parties are unusual when the guests of honor show up on a Skype conference call.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
— Katherine Hepburn

Ahh, Kate. Who’d have thunk you were a hermit, too?

Nancy has retaught me the value of solitude without the negative of being alone. Anne has told me how much she likes to regroup alone occasionally.

Turns out that our polyamory our way includes a remote cabin.

[Editor’s Note: gekko and I shared a four-part polylocution plus these Afterglow posts. Please visit her recent piece, Regarding Bonobos, and use The Poly Posts index for the entire series and for other resources.]

6 thoughts on “Par-tay

  1. I didn’t know it was a Poliday Weekend. Fun! I’ve basically been doing the same thing as always (which is good), accompanied by an enormous stupid fight (which is bad but at least over) along with the Headache That Won’t Leave (which is the worst thing of all). I think unlabeling relationships is good, as well as unlabeling people generally. People are so ridiculously obsessed with “what we are.” White, black, blue, green? Democrat, Republican, Librarian? Married, Single, Gay, Huh? Catholic, Jewish, Devil’s Food Worshipper? If you aren’t forthcoming on this stuff, peeps are suspicious. Gotta stick a label on you. Which is your box?? Gotta know! Gotta!! Or their widdle heads will implode.

  2. If people could also distance themselves from a need to be offended, then it would be easier because we need to communicate. If I use the “wrong” label when communicating with you, and I don’t know you, and you get upset because, hello, I should have just known you were married to your dog and referred to you, correctly, as a cannogamist and to your partner not as “your cute little pet, there” but as your Highly Adored Spousal Furball, well, excuse the hell outta me.

    It’s nice that Throckey lets us know he’s a sharkophile, although I could do with a bit less public displays of jumping.

  3. As always, Dick, I read the entire blog entry and enjoyed it very much. I am at least Paula’s age, and slightly older than gekko and yourself — you both being in middle age and vulnerable to changes in life and their tendenciy to return us to our high school mindset — but it was too avant-garde for me to understand. With your permission, I will check back later for the next entry.

    I have nothing against the high school mindset. In fact I have five granddaughters going through that phase now. They are beautiful children, and one of them is in love with a boy who wears a leather tool belt everywhere because it makes him feel mature.

    He is an unemployed artist who draws chalk stick figures on city sidewalks. Kids.

    — George

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