June 8, 2009 by Dick.

Three Indiana pension funds got it wrong. The state pension and construction funds sued Chrysler to keep the automaker from completing its acquisition by Fiat.

Regular readers have figured out by now that I am one of the smartest men I know. I am, however, neither the smartest man in the world nor even the only smart man in the world. That means I can’t possibly be the only person to have realized that the automakers are the wrong target for litigation.

The Administration favors the Chrysler-Fiat deal and wants to remove this road block. Nonetheless, the Supreme Court granted a stay that temporarily blocks the Chrysler sale. The court will decide soon whether to schedule a full hearing. Fiat says they will “never” walk away from the deal.

There is still time for bondholders and shareholders to come together. We need a lawyer. Maybe a platoon of them.

Think about it. Every lawyer arguing for tort reform is a Democrat. What better group to file a shareholders suit?

But there’s no money left at Chrysler or GM, you say. The CEO and many execs have changed. Who is there to sue?

How about we sue the people who caused the problem?

I’ll give you a minute.

Yeppers, I mean the President and the U.S. Congress.

A government has only one tool to take private property from its owners: eminent domain. The Takings Clause of the Fifth Amendment states … nor shall private property be taken … without just compensation.

If all goes according to plan, the U.S. and Canadian governments, a United Auto Workers health care fund, and Fiat will end up owning Cerebus Capital Management’s 80.1% of Chrysler Holding LLC and Daimler AG’s 19.9%. The Fiat presence dilutes the taking, but a governmental taking it is.

The picture is clearer in the General Motors tower where the administration stole 100% of the company from the shareholders. What did they do with it? They parceled it out to cronies. Canada got 12%. The Union bosses got 17%. And Obama got most of the rest, didn’t he?

I will join any class action lawsuit against the United States government for taking our private property without compensation.

Posted in Government Motors, Politics & News, Random Access | 2 Comments »

June 8, 2009 by Dick.

Missy and Biff brought their friend Marlin along when they visited South Puffin in April. Marlin is still here. Missy wears a lot of makeup and loves her bling. I think Marlin is responsible for her belief that the gold and sparkles she wears attract fish. And, Missy does love to fish.

Marlin, despite his name, does not. He may have spoofed Missy a little with the bling story. See, Marlin is a little … otherworldly. Missy’s shadowy friend won’t tell us exactly what he does besides “fixing things.” He seems to make a living either ferreting out information about people or living with friends. I’m not sure which. He is scarily good at both.

“You saw we just charged Walter and Gwen Myers with spying for Cuba, right?” Marlin asked.

Walter Kendall Myers worked for the State Department where he had access to highly sensitive material. The State Department put him on a “watch list” in 1995, but the watchers “either forgot about them or couldn’t pick up the trail,” Marlin said. “That’s when they brought me in.”

Marlin is about the size of a pro football offensive linesman. He is buff, nearly hairless, has a permanent tan, and takes up a lot of space in my little house. He says he has neither played ball nor danced ballet. I have not figured out how he vanishes for days at a time, then reappears in the guest room without ever disturbing the door locks. Sometimes I know he is here only because the refrigerator is suddenly empty.

“They were true believers which just makes it so hard for ordinary investigators to pick up their trail,” he said. “Walt told me they fed intelligence to Cuba for more than 30 years.

“I’m glad I caught them but, despite all my powers, I can’t do anything about the real rats.”

Walter and Gwendolyn Myers will undoubtedly become the subjects of Congressional hearings. “They’ll be another great diversion while your Barney Rubble robs us blind, the Administration emasculates the American automobile manufacturers, and pulls all the revenues for your medical care into the U.S. treasury,” Marlin said.

Anne reminded him that she took a 40% pay cut last fall when her job shrank to part time.

“Did you know that U..S. Congressional staff received $9.1 million in bonuses?” Marlin said. “That Congressmen awarded themselves $2.5 million in ‘automatic’ pay raises?”

Speaking of the great congressional giveaway, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will pay in retention bonuses over the next 18-months. That’s $45 million or so more than the storied AIG bonuses. I guess we need to keep the people who caused the banking crisis to fix it.

Our political leaders just nationalized the auto industry and gave nearly a trillion dollars to campaign contributors in the big banks and insurance companies but, by golly, Marlin caught ‘em a couple of low level true believers and the politicians are as proud as mutts with a prairie dog.

“What do you call those who steal, then give away the entire country?” Marlin asked. I don’t think he was talking about Walt and Gwen.

Answer next week.

Posted in Throw Da Bums Out, Politics & News, Random Access | 1 Comment »