Category Archives: Throw Da Bums Out

Snow in June

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I went wading this morning.

I walk outdoors most mornings when the weather permits. This morning I could have used my barn boots instead of my sneaks. Yesterday, Jack Parent started trucking the first-cut hay down the road and neighbor Charley Smith’s Cottonwood trees began snowing. It wasn’t quite knee deep at the bottom of the hill but it is piled higher and deeper.

“The trees do that for Father’s Day each year,” Mr. Smith said.

Cottonwood Tree It doesn’t appear that we can spin cottonwood seeds into yarn let alone loom a fabric and the lumber is lousy; it splits poorly, rots quickly, and offers about 12 BTUs per cord of firewood. On the other hand caterpillars love the wood as food.

Mr. Smith’s bigger issue is the chopped grass that sluices off the farm trucks. The Parent farm is divided. His new farm is about three miles north of his home farm and about half a mile north of me. I get to watch a regular parade of 8-wheel tractors and liquid manure trucks and open dump trucks.

CottonwoodWe pick up half a bale of hay for each truck that passes but we have about 500 feet of road frontage. I don’t think Mr. Smith gets quite that much although there is a bump right in front of his land.

“There ought to be a law,” he said. “Farmers have too much power. We should have a regulation to keep the roads free of debris.”

I’m not much for rules. I googled farm bureau regulations and found about 2,230,000 results in 0.21 seconds. Regulation > Policy & Politics > Ohio Farm Bureau Federation. “Farmers fear effects of proposed child labor regulations” at the Iowa Farm Bureau. Arkansas EPA regs. Suarez on Labor Regulations. Texas Farm Bureau Commodities and Regulatory authority. Guide to Lighting Regulations for Farm Implements, Guide to Open Burning, and Women’s Food Check Out Day at the Tennessee Farm Bureau. The Stanislaus County Farm Bureau also administers the ILRP on behalf of the East San Joaquin Water Quality Coalition.

Hay Truck And so on.

Heck, there were about 4,290,000 hits, nearly twice as many, for Vermont farm regulations alone.

Maybe it’s time for someone without a Ph.D. to wade through this mess. There is no way on this green Earth that any farmer could comply with every reg already on the books, let alone the 1,523 new ones under consideration right now.

Meanwhile, Mr. Parent probably should think to cover his dump beds; after all, feed is even more expensive when the road gods get that sacrifice bale every day.

This farm report brought to you by the letter G.

Tuesday Electrifying Twaddle

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Bumper StickerObama Motors has halted production of their campaign centerpiece vehicle, the Chevrolet Volt. 1,500 more workers at the newly refurbished Detroit-Hamtramck assembly plant will be unemployed. Turns out buyers don’t want one

Taking a page from China’s marketing strategy (drop the price until people buy things they don’t want), the Administration will raise the tax rebate from $7,500 to $10,000. We expect about 4,300 Volt dealers to be repurposed as Dollar Stores by November.

Tuesday Twaddle: The State of the Union Sucks

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And it has at least since Lincoln freed no slaves.

The Emancipation Proclamation proclaimed the freedom of slaves in the ten states then in rebellion. While it apparently freed 3.1 million of the 4 million slaves in the U.S. at the time, those ten states had seceded and recognized neither U.S. law nor fiat. Mr. Lincoln’s Proclamation did not compensate the owners, did not outlaw slavery, and did not make the ex-slaves citizens.

Now federal regulators have outlawed any and all import of the reptilian plague of pythons in our swimming pools and swamps.

The import ban restricts only the Burmese python, two African pythons, and the yellow anaconda. The Obamanation called it “a victory for Florida’s native environment.” Those of us actually in Florida know it, too, freed no slaves and captured no pythons. See, these snakes are captive-bred in the U.S. so that import ban had the same effect on snakes Mr. Lincoln’s on slaves.

It took the Army of the Republic to free the slaves but slavery did finally become illegal everywhere in the U.S. in 1865 thanks to the Thirteenth Amendment. We probably won’t amend the U.S. Constitution to get rid of snakes. Or send in the army.

Of course, there are snakes and then there are snakes.

Mr. Obama will report on the State of the Union this evening. He is expected say that unemployment is dropping but that we need to bring manufacturing jobs home from overseas, more home-mortgage market support, incentives for alternative energy development, more government, and higher taxes.

Cockroaches Can Save Us Money!

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Even as Repuglicans have abandoned the state of palmetto trees for the state of palmetto bugs, we must ponder the age old question of giant carnivorous insects, why do cockroaches fly?

Our Keys cockroaches rarely fly; they train the smaller shore birds to bring them food.

We spray the land and the air which explains a lot about our personalities. We used to have a fleet of DC-3s but those as well as the bat tower on Sugarloaf Key have been mostly abandoned. Now, the Mosquito Air Force has an $7.4 million hardened hangar at Marathon-Florida Keys Airport that allows them to fly any helicopter in rather than towing it. They built the hangar to save us money! All those ‘cides haven’t touched the “palmetto bugs,” though.

Are flying cockroaches smarter than people?

RED CROSS FINED OVER BLOOD SAFETY
Health care issue. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration fined the American Red Cross $9.59 million because 16 of its facilities failed to comply with blood-safety rules. More than 15 months ago. The FDA found “significant violations” in 2010 including inadequate “managerial control,” record-keeping, and quality assurance but there were no serious health consequences for blood recipients.

The fine will save us money. Won’t it?

KEYS RESIDENTS URGED TO VOTE
School tax issue. Monroe County Schools have been recently built and renovated, yet over $9 million remains in the capital improvements budget, that is currently needed for operational expenses, in the everyday classroom.

If voters approve the measure, 0.5 mill of the capital ad valorem tax will be moved to the operating budget to pay for teacher salaries, classroom supplies, and school athletic programs. Some $9 million is up for grabs. .

“Failure to pass this measure means that existing taxes will be frozen in capital accounts, and not available to pay the daily costs of running our schools,” past Superintendent John R. Padget wrote.

The Monroe County Democratic Executive Committee “urges all Democrats — and all voters — to support passage of this referendum.”

Sure. It will save us money. Won’t it?

Our elected reps want to move millions of taxpayer dollars around in an effort to save us money.

Let’s see. If we take money from the Red Cross at their offices over here, that means they have to charge more for blood at the hospital over there. Oooh, bonus. Health care costs go UP.

Maybe we should take money from the building fund so our general tax rates go down a hapenny. Oooh, bonus. When the roof blows off the (newish) building, we can write BONDS to pay for that.

Perhaps we could take money from the Social Security Trust Fund so our general tax rates go down. Oooh, bonus. Our grandchildren have to buy 401Ks.

Oh, wait. We already did that.

I learned at least half a century ago that when the used car salesman offers to “save you money,” hold onto your wallet ’cause you’re going for a ride.

Are flying cockroaches smarter than people?

Could be. Their Social Security seems sound since there are still more shorebirds than bugs and they haven’t even once tried to convince their prey to like being eaten.