Writing — It’s Not Just Cosmetic Anymore

Leonard Pitts, Jr., broke the first rule of writing yesterday.

A Pulitzer Prize winner for opinion writing, Mr. Pitts is a nationally-syndicated newspaper columnist; I read him in the Miami Herald where his column runs every Sunday and Wednesday. He writes extensively about race, politics, and culture. He has won writing awards from the Society of Professional Journalists and the American Society of Newspaper Editors.

Writing awards?

[Special Note: This piece was edited December 7, 2009, to remove some of the ambiguity. See Writing — It’s Not for Sissies for more.]

Mr. Pitts devoted his column yesterday to answering an email from a reader named Dunbar. The reader had complained that an earlier column “on Sammy Sosa’s skin cream use is off base and sends a wrong message. The issue is the man’s character — not the color of his skin…”

“I’m intrigued that you ‘think’ you know what point I was trying to make,” Mr. Pitts replied. “The fact that you have to guess, that it wasn’t starkly obvious to you, suggests that what we have here is a gulf between life experiences. It brings to mind a parable to the effect that the rabbit and the bear will never agree on how threatening is the dog.”

Writing awards?

The first rule of writing is not Don’t call your reader an idiot. (That’s not a bad rule, though.)

I empathize with Mr. Pitts’ anguish that his white readers did not understand his Sosa column although I find his belief that only a writer with one leg can explain the life of an amputee condescending. The bigger issue is, “The fact that you have to guess …” thus bringing to mind the parable of the rabbit and the bear and the dog.

Sorry, Mr. Pitts, but it does no such thing.

Mr. Dunbar’s comment brings to my mind the concern that if Mr. Pitts’ writing generates perplexity from a broad spectrum of his readers, it may not be his readers’ understanding we should question. It may just be that he didn’t explain it well enough the first time around for those readers to understand what was so obvious to him.

I emailed Mr. Pitts this morning to tell him his “blaming the reader” dog don’t hunt.

He thoughtfully disagreed: “Even that failure on my part would still spring from a gulf of life experiences,” he replied. “As someone for whom this issue is an ever-present reality, it would not immediately occur to me that anything other than a cursory explanation was required.”

WASP that I am, I am perhaps too white to have that perspective. I am not now and have never been black or Hispanic. Nor have I ever been a major league baseball player. Nor a drunk. Nor a woman.

However, comma.

My job as a writer is to get it right.

I work hard to craft characters who might be black, Hispanic, drunk, female baseball players just as my northern neighbor, character-driven novelist Chris Bohjalian , did with the baseball players of Past the Bleachers and the trans-gendered woman of Trans-Sister Radio.

For the record #1, Mr. Pitts does “believe a writer with all four limbs can explain the life of an amputee just fine (I would hope so, since my new novel deals with a man who loses his arm), but the key difference is that the people he is explaining to can’t be reflexively defensive about amputation. They have to be open to, and want to, understand. Where race is concerned, I’m afraid that’s not always the case.”

For the record #2. I read the original column, Has it Made You Happy, Being White, so my critique is simple. Mr. Dunbar didn’t get it. And that is just what I’m talking about.

The first rule of writing is quite simply, Write so well that your readers understand you.

Hitchhikers

I picked up Jody Beauregard hitchhiking yesterday. Jody is a sweet, gentle man who has worked on Tom Ripley’s truck for the last decade or so. He takes off every fall to hunt and usually can put up enough meat to last him through the year. I had never seen him hitchhiking before.

“Where’s your Bronco?” I asked him. He usually cruised the roads in about a 1970 Ford with a cracked rear window and rust holes patched with political bumper stickers.

Jody took a while to think about the question.

“Engine calved,” he said.

“What do you plan to do?” I asked.

“Tom had promised to sell me his red Roadmaster for $1,500,” Jody said, “but he traded it in on that Clunker deal and got $4,500 for it. It was a pretty good car but I couldn’t pay that much.”

The CARS program took nearly 700,000 “clunkers” off the roads replaced, as the official press release told us, by far more fuel efficient vehicles. The program processed $2.877 billion in rebate applications and put more than half the cash into foreign brands. It has taken a lot of excellent cars off the road, including a 1985 Maserati Biturbo in Plattsburgh and Tom Riley’s very nice 16 year-old Buick, including all of the clunker stock the poor will drive tomorrow but none of the real clunkers the poor drive today. Good planning on the part of the peeps who would run U.S. health care, U.S. stockbrokers, and the U.S. auto industry.

Tom Ripley is my garbage man. Here in North Puffin, garbage collection is private enterprise; we all contract with one of the haulers who has a route in our area. I like Tom. He’s friendly, always on time, and comes right up on the porch to pick up the trash cans. He even (usually) latches the storm door when he puts the cans back. He owns a couple of used garbage trucks that he bought at the state auction and usually has a couple-three pickups that he runs around his route every Sunday before church. He had originally planned to trade in his ’73 Chevy pickup under the CARS program but it was too old. It is a terrific truck but it gets 10 mpg winter and summer. 10 mpg empty and 10 mpg pulling a camper. A little rusty and a lot beaten but still on the road after 36 years. But it was too old to qualify for the clunkers program.

Cars traded must have been manufactured less within the last 25 years, have a fuel economy of 18 miles per gallon or less, and be insured and registered and drivable.

“The 350 in that Roadmaster purred,” Jody told me. “Tom put tires on it just the year before last. Paint was great — actually the whole body was pretty darned good. And the A/C worked. I’ve never had a car with A/C that worked. No rust, runs good, like the song says.”

“I’ve ridden in it,” I said. “Pretty good car.”

Jody looked out the side window for a half a mile. Not many leaves are turning yet and no deer in the fields; he was thinking about the car.

“Yeah. It’s not fair, you know. I need a car now and there just nobody’s got anything to sell. People are even snapping up old beaters like my old Bronco ’cause they can’t find anything else to drive.”

“That Buick would have lasted you 10 more years.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Got better gas mileage than anything I’ve ever owned, too.”

Dead Elephants

Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: You take a dead elephant, two tons of chocolate ice-cream, a ton of bananas…

We know you can’t make a dead elephant float without bacterial action but any number of Rabid Righties thought a death scare was the way to derail ObamaCare.

Gundersen Lutheran in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, is a pioneer in the medical trend to make sure patients get the end of life they want. The hospital has been trying to force Medicare to pay the docs when they help patients with that planning. H.R. 3200 incorporated it.

Sarah Palin made that into the “Death Panels” in H.R. 3200 and it has been a rallying cry against any kind of health care reform ever since.

“It’s really distressing,” hospital official Bud Hammes told MSNBC. “These things need to be addressed.”

When you spread false information, you give up the right to thwap the other guy for propagating falsehoods.

My friend Dino sent around the Windfall Tax on Retirement Income rant a couple of days ago.

Dean “Dino” Russell is a roofer in the middle Keys where I reside. Dancing about on roofs all his life has made him the most physically fit man in the Home Depot; it also gives him an overview of life. He is the third-most conservative man I know.

“What’s neat about this is the way Snopes dismisses it with a series of rhetorical tributaries and sly spins and then tosses in billionaire Warren Buffet as a strawman. Snopes is right that Pelosi probably did not say these exact words–even though they are in quotes,” he wrote, “but that is not the point. The point is that she demonstrates it daily in her actions from the floor and prolly implied it directly in her rhetoric.”

Pelosi probably did not say these exact words,” he wrote. “That is not the point…”

Sorry, Dino, but that is exactly the point.

The Honorable Nancy Pelosi is anything but and she has proven that over and over. Unfortunately, Dino has joined her club. Prevaricating, obfuscating, misdirecting, diverting, and pretending all add up to lying. When Liberals lie to advance their cause, it makes them liars and gives us ammunition to use against them. When Conservatives lie because they think it is for a good cause, it makes them liars, too.

Lying not only gives the other guy ammunition to use against you, it makes it impossible to believe or respect the liar.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out flaming ducks.

I’ve always hoped I was the elephant but days like this I feel like a sitting duck.

Guest Post: George on Buggered. Really Really Buggered.

This column responds to
Bugged. Really Really Bugged.
posted July 13. The author calls it
purely, ideologically speculative
and opinion by Mr Poleczech.

I have to come back here to discuss the real issue — I am persuaded that the real issue is neither about religion nor about civil rights.

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference is strongly opposed to same-sex marriage; and that conservative stance is directly contra to the political stance of the Democratic Party. That fact has to gall party leaders who do everything possible to woo homosexuals to the Democrat side–and keep them there.

You can well bet that Rev. Lee made his pro-gay marriage proclamation after consultation with top party leaders and with a promise of $trong $upport. If we could follow the money trail it would lead us right to my next paragraph:

This whole thing has everything to do with patching a rift in the Democratic Party by bringing that faction (the negro voting bloc) fully into the fold by supporting one of the party’s biggest priorities: placating the homosexual community.

Reverend Lee did his part by bringing it to the forefront and forcing a vote where negro Democrats will have to stand on one side of the line or the other. Either they are pro gay or not. There will be no line straddling.

Of course, the party will be relying on the ancillary support of liberal republicans and wide-eyed moderates, who would be the last to suspect disingenuous intentions by an organization of “Faith”. These helpers will gasp and take an immediate 90 degree turn and tackle the seemingly obvious — but fake — reason for all the ado. These helpers will, of course, come out on the side of homosexual civil rights with a denunciation of religious beliefs — adding additional props, when all the while the Party of Roosevelt and LBJ can stand by with a pious expression and click its tongue at those who might still have the balls to stand in opposition.

So. it’s all about solidifying the Democratic party. Nothing else.

 — George Poleczech

Bugged. Really Really Bugged.

The civil rights organization founded by Martin Luther King, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference wants to remove the Rev. Eric P. Lee as president of its Los Angeles chapter because he supports same-sex marriage. I guess it’s OK that black people have civil rights but not those people over there with the big noses or these folks over here in the flamboyant clothes.

“It was clear to me that any time you deny one group of people the same right that other groups have,” Rev. Lee told the NYTimes, “that is a clear violation of civil rights.”

My friend Rufus disagreed. “They are the Southern CHRISTIAN Leadership Conference,” he said, “and the Bible doesn’t merely suggest that buggery is a sin. It is referred to as ‘an abomination unto God’.”

This blog will be waaaaaaaaay too long
but it is worthwhile to have both sides
of the discussion on the same page.

I contend that the ban on homosexual relations is a Victorian construct on the translations of the earliest parts of the Israelite texts and that even those texts filled man’s then-contemporary needs, not God’s orders. Rufus disagrees. I further contend that the ban is pretty unChristian on the face of it. After all, Christians are supposed to turn the other cheek. So to speak.

I have trouble with the abomination unto God part, Rufus. After all, our ever-so-Christian New Testament has no reference to buggery whatsoever and only passing references to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

“Try Letter to the Romans where Paul most certainly is referring to male and female homosexuality,” Rufus said.

Remember the context. All the new (non-Israelite) converts to Christianity wanted to use their their own older rituals in their new faith. In the text quoted from Romans, Paul referred specifically to the ritualized sex within the temples of Diana and Apollo. The then-modern Philistines and Greeks and Romans whom Paul knew all had used ritualized or casual sex, male with male, female with female, in religious worship, in bonding, in their armed forces, in sports.

“It is an abomination in Genesis, in Exodus, in Leviticus, and many of the other Old Testament books,” Rufus said.

Using the Bible to prove something is an abomination is easy, simply because everything and nothing in the Bible is an abomination. Depending on the version you have (I grew up on KJV) the word appears about 176 times in Leviticus alone. The text is so vague and the translations so at odds that almost anything is abominable.

“Leviticus 18 says ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination’,” he said.

Pretty much everyone including Rufus refers to that passage in Leviticus to prove their point. It’s not quite that clear; the bulk of Leviticus 18 deals with nudity, uncleanliness, and a little bit of sex. Moreover, the passage immediately before the “lie with a man” verse is “thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbor’s wife, to defile thyself with her.” I wonder, since the Lord was so specific about carnal relations with thy neighbor’s wife, why He was so vague about “lying with a man.”

I do think Leviticus 18 is the definitive basis for the Islamic hijab.

Despite what most folks think, there is no explicit mention of buggery in Ezekiel’s summation, either. Ezekial catalogues a double handful of sexual “abominations” including dishonoring your fathers’ bed, lying with women during their period, committing a detestable offense with your neighbor’s wife, defiling your daughter or daughter-in-law, violating your sister, and taking usury and excessive interest. No listing of buggery there.

Proverbs refers to abominations, but it is the seven abominations that fill the heart of the malicious man and is in context with how to treat the fool, the sluggard, and the madman.

Isaiah refers to abominations, but it is the blood sacrifices of idolatry.

“The Sodomites were definitely fudge-packers,” Rufus said. “Genesis 19 makes clear that the men from every part of the city want to have sex with the men (actually angels) who came to Lot’s house, and that THIS is indeed a ‘grievous sin.’ Sodom and Gomorrah were nuked for those grievous sins.

“Clear as a bell, Dick.”

If it’s so clear, if that bell sounds so pure, then how is it that so many different churches and so many different historians have so many different interpretations of the texts?

In that oft-quoted story of Lot, the NIV tells the story as “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them” but the KJV says it this way: “Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.” To know can have the sexual connotation, but it can also mean “to water board” which works just as well in the context of the story.

Y’all do realize that I used “water boarding” in the Congressional sense, meaning “to interrogate by torture,” right?

The Sodomites came to their abomination by four actions: pride, excess of diet (gluttony), idleness, and contempt of the poor. Recalling the complete history of the time, the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah came from the unpaid wages of labor.

“Where did you get that stuff?” Rufus asked. “There is no actual corroboration like papyrus translations but you think it sounds reasonable, right?”

Good heavens. There is nothing behind my position other than the source material everyone has: the Bible and history.

“So you’re saying that if that logic applied then, different circumstances mean it doesn’t apply now.”

No again. I’ve burned 1,500 words to say that there is nothing specifically Godlike about proscribing pork. Or, for that matter, porking thy neighbor’s brother.

We are talking here about the time of ethnogenesis. The Israelites had come together from the 12 tribes, had become Egyptian slaves and hard-laborers, and had fled their captors during the reign of Rameses II. Scholars believe the Book of Genesis itself reached its final form around 500 BCE, or some six or seven hundred years after Rameses II died. A lot of history had passed by then–Nebuchanezzar sacked Jerusalem and exiled those Jews to Babylon around 600 BCE, a century before our Genesis appeared. Finding themselves slaves and hard-laborers again, the Israelites needed ways to differentiate themselves first from their Semitic neighbors and captors, then from the Philistines, then from the Romans. There is evidence that many of the Israelites had gone native to fit in with the cultures of the peoples who had power over them. There was polytheism. There were dietary abominations. There was kinky sex. It was especially important to proscribe the activities that everyone around the Israelites engaged in.

Leviticus handles the unlawful sexual relations rules and each of them (along with most other bad stuff) was punishable by death (except for doing a slave girl–that was a freebie): Don’t do as they do in Egypt. Don’t do as they do in Canaan. Don’t have relations with a close relative. Don’t have relations with your mother. Don’t have relations with your father’s wife. Don’t have relations with your daughter or your granddaughter. Or your sister. Or your auntie. Or your daughter-in-law. Or a woman during the uncleanness of her period. Or your neighbor’s wife. Or a critter. Or even your brother’s wife. Don’t have threesomes.

The rules are pretty extensive: Don’t eat pig. Don’t mix meat and milk. Don’t eat blood but do eat your sacrifices after you’ve cooked them. Don’t mix the fibers in your fabric.

Can you honestly tell me that every rule and every punishment in the Bible as we read it today is to be taken literally? I have seen you eat bacon in my own house, Rufus.

And, for what it’s worth, after the fire Lot’s daughters got Lot drunk and each became pregnant by him.

There is a lot more in the Old Testament about not terrifying your sheep than about lying with other men. In fact, “sodomie” in modern German refers specifically to sex with sheep (and other non-human critters), not to anal or oral sex.

Back to my original contention. Let us not forget that Moses was one of the great Generals. He kept the Israelites at the mountain for 40 years, that their population would rise enough to field a large enough army to defeat the Canaanites. The ban on homosexual acts–along with the ban on the eating of pork which killed people–is based on the Israelite need to increase its tribal army size and was decreed at a time when male homosexuality was not uncommon.


Do consider these final thoughts:

Rufus is in his comfortable in my beliefs as I am in mine.

“I have faith in the Word,” Rufus said.

No argument there. While I believe the actual, historical occurence was in the land of Lot is different than the story in the Bible (I hold out some hope for either volcanic activity or that the visiting Angels had fuel-air explosives), my real point here is that we have a vague, historical text written and rewritten and translated and retranslated over the centuries.

Whatever the Book says today may be gospel but it ain’t fact. There is the Word but there is no confirmable data.

We are arguing about faith which means Rufus is right. As am I. We know that Rufus said, “I believe that God gave us this rule and that brooks no disobedience.”

Here’s my own bottom line. Jesus disagreed with his Father on a number of issues. I believe He would tell us that discriminating against people for their skin color, their creed, their national origin, their sexual preference, or the size of their ears is simply unChristian.