Dead Elephants

Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: You take a dead elephant, two tons of chocolate ice-cream, a ton of bananas…

We know you can’t make a dead elephant float without bacterial action but any number of Rabid Righties thought a death scare was the way to derail ObamaCare.

Gundersen Lutheran in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, is a pioneer in the medical trend to make sure patients get the end of life they want. The hospital has been trying to force Medicare to pay the docs when they help patients with that planning. H.R. 3200 incorporated it.

Sarah Palin made that into the “Death Panels” in H.R. 3200 and it has been a rallying cry against any kind of health care reform ever since.

“It’s really distressing,” hospital official Bud Hammes told MSNBC. “These things need to be addressed.”

When you spread false information, you give up the right to thwap the other guy for propagating falsehoods.

My friend Dino sent around the Windfall Tax on Retirement Income rant a couple of days ago.

Dean “Dino” Russell is a roofer in the middle Keys where I reside. Dancing about on roofs all his life has made him the most physically fit man in the Home Depot; it also gives him an overview of life. He is the third-most conservative man I know.

“What’s neat about this is the way Snopes dismisses it with a series of rhetorical tributaries and sly spins and then tosses in billionaire Warren Buffet as a strawman. Snopes is right that Pelosi probably did not say these exact words–even though they are in quotes,” he wrote, “but that is not the point. The point is that she demonstrates it daily in her actions from the floor and prolly implied it directly in her rhetoric.”

Pelosi probably did not say these exact words,” he wrote. “That is not the point…”

Sorry, Dino, but that is exactly the point.

The Honorable Nancy Pelosi is anything but and she has proven that over and over. Unfortunately, Dino has joined her club. Prevaricating, obfuscating, misdirecting, diverting, and pretending all add up to lying. When Liberals lie to advance their cause, it makes them liars and gives us ammunition to use against them. When Conservatives lie because they think it is for a good cause, it makes them liars, too.

Lying not only gives the other guy ammunition to use against you, it makes it impossible to believe or respect the liar.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out flaming ducks.

I’ve always hoped I was the elephant but days like this I feel like a sitting duck.

Vermont Police to Curb Profiling

For the past three years, a “blue ribbon” committee of Vermonters has studied the possibility of racial profiling by police officers in this state.

Hello? Vermont is, of course, the least diverse state in the Union. The Census Bureau reports that 2008 population of the state is about 621,000, up from 609,000 nine years ago. The population breaks down as 96.4% white and 0.9% black which means that if one non-white person is ticketed, it must be profiling. The community group Uncommon Alliance raised the concerns about racial profiling.

The committee report says Vermont minorities believe they are the victims of pervasive racial profiling by police on traffic stops. The report also shows there is absolutely no data anywhere that support the idea. None.

The Vermont state police say they do investigate about ten racial profiling complaints out of thousands of traffic stops each year.

Reminder: The report shows there is absolutely no data anywhere that support the perceived profiling. None.

Law enforcement leaders have chosen “pro-active responses.”

Vermont Public Safety Commissioner Tom Tremblay said, “We recognize that law enforcement in Vermont needs to address the perception and/or the reality of racial profiling.”

Reminder: The report also shows there is absolutely no data anywhere that support the perceived profiling. None.

Police will create yet another new data collection system and document each person’s race, gender and age at traffic stops. We can expect video cameras in all police cruisers as well as more anti-racial-bias training for cops.

Meanwhile, pigs are a Vermont tradition at county fairs but kids won’t chase any pigs at the Caledonia County Fair in Lyndonville this year. “No swine at the fair,” said Richard Lawrence. It turns out the public could be afraid of pigs because people think the pigs could spread the flu. (The fact is that pigs should fear the people, not the other way around.)

Fair officials say they know that pigs are not spreading the H1N1 virus but they banned them anyway. State and county fairs came to life to promote science and agriculture.

The Fair made its decision “not based on sound science but based on public perception,” Vermont state veterinarian Dr. Kristin Haas told WCAX TV. “In this instance we have an example of a pretty big difference between the two.”

As an aside, a federal program later this month will focus exclusively on drunk driving. By women.

News reports show a host of community forums on profiling will begin Wednesday.

Reminder: The report shows there is absolutely no data anywhere that support the perceived profiling. None.

Don’t confuse me with the facts. It is crucial that we sacrifice truth and dignity on the altar of the politically correct. And left-leaning public perception.

Throw Cash at It

My friend Lido (“Lee”) Bruhl is a true believer in universal health care. He continues to campaign for a single payer system. “And yet we still have all these vehement protests that our health care system is fine just the way it is,” he said this morning.

Not from me. I vehemently protest that ObamaCare will take a health care system that delivers decent care for way too much money and turn it it to a system that delivers lesser care for way more than way too much money.

Lee took a new tack. “The US already spends more on health care than most other nations, but it gets less,” he said.

Semi-true. Here’s another one: The US already spends more on primary and secondary education than most other nations, but it gets less. And this: The US spent more “stimulus money” on job creation than any other nation, but it got fewer jobs created.

A better question to examine is this: Why do we as a nation throw so much cash at problems and get such a (relatively) poor return?

Is It Murder?

Two area men denied their role in the fatal alcohol and drug overdose of a Vermont teen last month. The men, one from Sheldon Springs and the other from Highgate, each pled not guilty of manslaughter for the death of 19-year old Jeremy Chapple. who died after guzzling the booze and Lorazepam they sold to him in an apartment in Swanton Village.

Local police know that apartment as a juvenile gathering place.

According to the St Albans Messenger, one of the men charged “only has one forgery conviction on his criminal record.” The judge released that man without bail or curfew although he can’t leave Franklin County without court permission.

The second man is currently serving house arrest for armed robbery. The Corrections Department is unlikely to release him now.

Lordy, Lordy™.

The paper reported that the first defendant sold four tablets of Lorazepam to Mr. Chapple for $1 each. The other defendant bought him a jug of Jack Daniels. Depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend, Mr. Chapple consumed them in a couple of hours.

Sad story. Sad ending.

But it might not be manslaughter.

It might be murder.

“The death of Jeremy Chapple on June 8 is a tragedy of the highest degree — in other words, an avoidable tragedy,” Franklin County Caring Communities, Rural Partnerships, and the Grand Isle County Clean Team, the primary drug and alcohol coalitions of northwestern Vermont, said in a statement after the court proceedings. “Those who think the only danger that comes from underage drinking is an alcohol-related crash need look no further than this case to see otherwise. Those who believe that supplying an underage individual with alcohol will not lead to trouble for themselves can also learn an important lesson from this. Finally, this death should serve as a clear need for swift action in all our communities when it comes to prescription drug abuse.

“It is our sincerest hope that today’s arraignments will be an important step down a path that helps our whole northwest Vermont community learn important lessons about teens, alcohol and prescription drug abuse, and the need to be ever-vigilant in the protection of our children and young adults. The story of Jeremy Chapple is a story every parent should pay heed to and use as an opportunity to discuss such issues with their children in age-appropriate ways.”

Learn important lessons?

That politically correct statement is too long on hand holding and education and too short on responsibility.

Contrast those semantics with the actions of crusading Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice who charged a drunk driver with murder. “He had a completely depraved indifference to human life,” she told 60 Minutes, “because he acted so recklessly others were likely to die.”

Drunk driving kills more than 13,000 Americans every year despite the publicity, the education campaigns, and the apologetic hand wringing by drug and alcohol coalitions.

7-year-old Katie Flynn was a flower girl at her aunt’s Long Island wedding three years ago. That beautiful day ended in tragedy when a 24-year-old insurance salesman with a blood alcohol content more than three times the legal limit drove three miles the wrong way on the highway before crashing head-on into the Flynns’ vehicle. He killed their driver and tore little Katie’s head off.

The same year Katie Flynn died, Forbes Magazine named Nassau County “the safest region in the United States, with the lowest crime rate.”

District Attorney Rice charged the insurance salesman with Murder, Vehicular Manslaughter, Aggravated DWI, and some lesser included charges. The jury decided that that drunk driver didn’t need hand holding. The jury decided he didn’t need education. The jury decided he needed to take responsibility for decapitating a 7-year old child while he was drunk. Convicted, he got 25 years to life in prison last week. For murder.

Mr. Chapple was an avid outdoorsman who loved hunting, fishing, trapping, four-wheeling, dirt bike riding and playing basketball. And, apparently, alcohol and drugs.

Were the Vermont defendants any less indifferent to Mr. Chapple’s likely fate than the drunken salesman was to Katie’s?

Who will take responsibility for his death?


Full Disclosure: I helped found, chaired, and still volunteer for the local Franklin County Caring Community chapter. I strongly endorse its mission but I also know there can be no learning without accountability.

Bugged. Really Really Bugged.

The civil rights organization founded by Martin Luther King, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference wants to remove the Rev. Eric P. Lee as president of its Los Angeles chapter because he supports same-sex marriage. I guess it’s OK that black people have civil rights but not those people over there with the big noses or these folks over here in the flamboyant clothes.

“It was clear to me that any time you deny one group of people the same right that other groups have,” Rev. Lee told the NYTimes, “that is a clear violation of civil rights.”

My friend Rufus disagreed. “They are the Southern CHRISTIAN Leadership Conference,” he said, “and the Bible doesn’t merely suggest that buggery is a sin. It is referred to as ‘an abomination unto God’.”

This blog will be waaaaaaaaay too long
but it is worthwhile to have both sides
of the discussion on the same page.

I contend that the ban on homosexual relations is a Victorian construct on the translations of the earliest parts of the Israelite texts and that even those texts filled man’s then-contemporary needs, not God’s orders. Rufus disagrees. I further contend that the ban is pretty unChristian on the face of it. After all, Christians are supposed to turn the other cheek. So to speak.

I have trouble with the abomination unto God part, Rufus. After all, our ever-so-Christian New Testament has no reference to buggery whatsoever and only passing references to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

“Try Letter to the Romans where Paul most certainly is referring to male and female homosexuality,” Rufus said.

Remember the context. All the new (non-Israelite) converts to Christianity wanted to use their their own older rituals in their new faith. In the text quoted from Romans, Paul referred specifically to the ritualized sex within the temples of Diana and Apollo. The then-modern Philistines and Greeks and Romans whom Paul knew all had used ritualized or casual sex, male with male, female with female, in religious worship, in bonding, in their armed forces, in sports.

“It is an abomination in Genesis, in Exodus, in Leviticus, and many of the other Old Testament books,” Rufus said.

Using the Bible to prove something is an abomination is easy, simply because everything and nothing in the Bible is an abomination. Depending on the version you have (I grew up on KJV) the word appears about 176 times in Leviticus alone. The text is so vague and the translations so at odds that almost anything is abominable.

“Leviticus 18 says ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination’,” he said.

Pretty much everyone including Rufus refers to that passage in Leviticus to prove their point. It’s not quite that clear; the bulk of Leviticus 18 deals with nudity, uncleanliness, and a little bit of sex. Moreover, the passage immediately before the “lie with a man” verse is “thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbor’s wife, to defile thyself with her.” I wonder, since the Lord was so specific about carnal relations with thy neighbor’s wife, why He was so vague about “lying with a man.”

I do think Leviticus 18 is the definitive basis for the Islamic hijab.

Despite what most folks think, there is no explicit mention of buggery in Ezekiel’s summation, either. Ezekial catalogues a double handful of sexual “abominations” including dishonoring your fathers’ bed, lying with women during their period, committing a detestable offense with your neighbor’s wife, defiling your daughter or daughter-in-law, violating your sister, and taking usury and excessive interest. No listing of buggery there.

Proverbs refers to abominations, but it is the seven abominations that fill the heart of the malicious man and is in context with how to treat the fool, the sluggard, and the madman.

Isaiah refers to abominations, but it is the blood sacrifices of idolatry.

“The Sodomites were definitely fudge-packers,” Rufus said. “Genesis 19 makes clear that the men from every part of the city want to have sex with the men (actually angels) who came to Lot’s house, and that THIS is indeed a ‘grievous sin.’ Sodom and Gomorrah were nuked for those grievous sins.

“Clear as a bell, Dick.”

If it’s so clear, if that bell sounds so pure, then how is it that so many different churches and so many different historians have so many different interpretations of the texts?

In that oft-quoted story of Lot, the NIV tells the story as “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them” but the KJV says it this way: “Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.” To know can have the sexual connotation, but it can also mean “to water board” which works just as well in the context of the story.

Y’all do realize that I used “water boarding” in the Congressional sense, meaning “to interrogate by torture,” right?

The Sodomites came to their abomination by four actions: pride, excess of diet (gluttony), idleness, and contempt of the poor. Recalling the complete history of the time, the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah came from the unpaid wages of labor.

“Where did you get that stuff?” Rufus asked. “There is no actual corroboration like papyrus translations but you think it sounds reasonable, right?”

Good heavens. There is nothing behind my position other than the source material everyone has: the Bible and history.

“So you’re saying that if that logic applied then, different circumstances mean it doesn’t apply now.”

No again. I’ve burned 1,500 words to say that there is nothing specifically Godlike about proscribing pork. Or, for that matter, porking thy neighbor’s brother.

We are talking here about the time of ethnogenesis. The Israelites had come together from the 12 tribes, had become Egyptian slaves and hard-laborers, and had fled their captors during the reign of Rameses II. Scholars believe the Book of Genesis itself reached its final form around 500 BCE, or some six or seven hundred years after Rameses II died. A lot of history had passed by then–Nebuchanezzar sacked Jerusalem and exiled those Jews to Babylon around 600 BCE, a century before our Genesis appeared. Finding themselves slaves and hard-laborers again, the Israelites needed ways to differentiate themselves first from their Semitic neighbors and captors, then from the Philistines, then from the Romans. There is evidence that many of the Israelites had gone native to fit in with the cultures of the peoples who had power over them. There was polytheism. There were dietary abominations. There was kinky sex. It was especially important to proscribe the activities that everyone around the Israelites engaged in.

Leviticus handles the unlawful sexual relations rules and each of them (along with most other bad stuff) was punishable by death (except for doing a slave girl–that was a freebie): Don’t do as they do in Egypt. Don’t do as they do in Canaan. Don’t have relations with a close relative. Don’t have relations with your mother. Don’t have relations with your father’s wife. Don’t have relations with your daughter or your granddaughter. Or your sister. Or your auntie. Or your daughter-in-law. Or a woman during the uncleanness of her period. Or your neighbor’s wife. Or a critter. Or even your brother’s wife. Don’t have threesomes.

The rules are pretty extensive: Don’t eat pig. Don’t mix meat and milk. Don’t eat blood but do eat your sacrifices after you’ve cooked them. Don’t mix the fibers in your fabric.

Can you honestly tell me that every rule and every punishment in the Bible as we read it today is to be taken literally? I have seen you eat bacon in my own house, Rufus.

And, for what it’s worth, after the fire Lot’s daughters got Lot drunk and each became pregnant by him.

There is a lot more in the Old Testament about not terrifying your sheep than about lying with other men. In fact, “sodomie” in modern German refers specifically to sex with sheep (and other non-human critters), not to anal or oral sex.

Back to my original contention. Let us not forget that Moses was one of the great Generals. He kept the Israelites at the mountain for 40 years, that their population would rise enough to field a large enough army to defeat the Canaanites. The ban on homosexual acts–along with the ban on the eating of pork which killed people–is based on the Israelite need to increase its tribal army size and was decreed at a time when male homosexuality was not uncommon.


Do consider these final thoughts:

Rufus is in his comfortable in my beliefs as I am in mine.

“I have faith in the Word,” Rufus said.

No argument there. While I believe the actual, historical occurence was in the land of Lot is different than the story in the Bible (I hold out some hope for either volcanic activity or that the visiting Angels had fuel-air explosives), my real point here is that we have a vague, historical text written and rewritten and translated and retranslated over the centuries.

Whatever the Book says today may be gospel but it ain’t fact. There is the Word but there is no confirmable data.

We are arguing about faith which means Rufus is right. As am I. We know that Rufus said, “I believe that God gave us this rule and that brooks no disobedience.”

Here’s my own bottom line. Jesus disagreed with his Father on a number of issues. I believe He would tell us that discriminating against people for their skin color, their creed, their national origin, their sexual preference, or the size of their ears is simply unChristian.