Chewing the Fat

It is simply too nice outside to rant.

Sunny, it is. Warm. A couple of interesting clouds in the blue sky. A little breezy, but just enough to keep some of the boats at the dock and to dry one’s sweat. That’s almost the same report from North Puffin where it is actually just 74°, South Puffin where it is 80°, and Arizona where Limousine Liberals think illegals should be werry werry afwaid and it is only about 70°.

I wonder why Limousine Liberals are worried about sick birds in Arizona but you never know.

A thunderstorm threatens North Puffin but that should burn off this afternoon. The chance of rain in both South Puffin and Arizona is somewhere south of zero.

The Burlington Waterfront hosted the final Green Mountain Chew Chew (“Vermont’s Favorite Family Feeding Frenzy”) last June with chicken kabob pitas, grilled cajun chicken bites, Lion’s Club pork backribs with cannonball sauce, Lovemaker crepes, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and more. Each Chew Chew food purveyor (restaurants and farms, mostly) served three food items at their booths. No one duplicated another vendor’s menu. Each booth had one new item each year so the menu stayed fresh but retained many of the festival favorites. Organizer Rick Norcross booked two tents full of performers so music flowed almost constantly throughout the event. Depot Token Booths sold brass Chew Chew food tokens priced at 9 for $5. The menu samples ranged from one to four tokens each. More than 400 foodies grossed about $3,500,000 in the 24 weekend run.

Downtown St. Albans hosted the annual Vermont Maple Festival this weekend with pancake breakfasts, a maple buffet dinner, dancing, music, arts and crafts, performances by some of Vermont’s best bands, Vermont specialty foods, carnival rides, the “best maple syrup on the planet” and the biggest parade in Vermont. The parade stretches for miles with over 100 bands, clowns, dancers, unique floats, horses and tractors, musicians, neat cars, the odd politician or two, and the ever-popular pooper scooper following right behind the politicians. Vermont foods included Woodstock Granola, Vikki Machia’s special fudge, cheeses, Vermont peanut butter, and Richard’s sauces.

The Tempe (Arizona) Town Lake Beach Park hosted the annual St. Katherine “Taste of Greece” Festival this weekend with Greek dancing, music, specialty, and import booths, performances by costumed Greek dancers, Greek wine tasting, carnival rides, and the “best Greek food in Phoenix!” A lamb turned on a spit over coals as men flipped souvlaki. They had Greek spiced meatballs, fried and served with tzatziki sauce. How about Greek fried calamari, lightly floured, and served with lemon and red sauce. Or over-sugar yourself on Baklava, Pantespani, Karythopita, Kourabiethes cookies, and more.


Like most outdoor festivals, all three events have similar planning committees, hosts of volunteers, and cultural goodies to attract (and keep) the crowd. And like most outdoor festivals, all three events have similar problems: high costs for food, sinking budgets for entertainment, and weather worries.

The weatherman has frozen, snowed, baked, sleeted, and rained sunshine on the Maple Festival over the years. 13 inches of snow fell on St. Albans two days before the 2010 event. The perfect storm of increased production costs and crippling rain delivered a crippling 2008 loss to the Chew Chew. Only Phoenix seems immune to snow and rain although the winds practically blew visitors out of the park this year.

The food was good — visitors stood in line — but too expensive at the Maple and Greek festivals and the music stage stood silent too much of the time at both.

Cost is a real issue. The Chew Chew started out in 1984 offering little samples for a single token. Now the food costs one to four tokens per plate. The Greeks use tickets in Tempe; unfortunately, each one costs $2 and most food items range from one to four tickets. A family of four can put together a pretty nice sampler afternoon in Burlington for $25. Can do that for $100 in Tempe. The prices are pretty similar in St. Albans where you spend actual cash rather than scrip at each booth.

Tempe and St. Albans have just one stage each, so keeping the music going is a challenge but a challenge worth meeting. Food festival-goers come for the food. The music aids digestion and keeps them on the grounds longer so they can eat more.

When I booked the Main Street Stage for the Maple Festival we did everything possible to avoid dead air. The stage was divided into two performance areas so one band could be setting up while another played. The sound company (I used Tim-Kath) made sure we had good fidelity around most of downtown. And we never had more than 5 minutes of my chatter about the food between sets. People could find the food on their own.

It’s a good model and it makes the Fair food taste better.

Cool.

If We Get Diversity, Can We Get Rid of Ugly Teachers?

The good looking teachers are sorely under represented.

I really really loved my fourth grade teacher, mostly because she was a hot babe.

A well organized group of Burlington, Vermont, parents hammered the school board there last month. See, the Burlington School District (BSD) has a serious problem. It has nothing to do with test scores. As far as I know, there is no more bullying on campuses there than at any other school in the nation. Costs have risen exponentially but that’s nothing new.

Test scores continue to wane but many Vermonters do not believe in testing. Can’t be the 3 Rs.

Hazing still happens but Vermont parents know a holistic approach that considers the target, the bully, and the bystanders creates a dialog that stops unwanted behaviors and that the state does have a model Bullying Prevention Plan. Can’t be bullying.

The Burlington School Board is proud their district spends “$2000 less per equalized pupil than the statewide average.” Can’t be money, either.

It turns out that nearly a quarter of the students in Burlington schools are children of color and that figure far, far outnumbers the faculty and staff. Fewer than three percent of the teachers and staff belong to a minority.

Parents say the school must hire more minorities to give students a more balanced perspective.

“Diversity improves the vibrancy and quality and excellence of our schools. Diversity in many areas: geographically, linguistically, politically, in terms of gender, in terms of religious orientation. All of that diversity enhances the pool of ideas and the creativity and vibrancy of any institution,” Burlington parent Stephanie Seguino told WCAX-TV News.

The BSD reports it “has dedicated significant resources toward diversity awareness over the past eleven years, beginning with the creation of a full time director. [In 2008] the Board of Commissioners appointed Dr. Dan Balon … to be the new Director [of diversity and multiculturalism], bringing over 17 years experience in education management, non-profit agencies, and diversity education on a national scale to the position.”

Apparently, an equalized pupil is not a measure of diversity but rather a simple accounting term.

By all appearances, Ms Seguino and the other parents believe Burlington still needs an affirmative action program for faculty hiring.

Hello?

Oh. Wait. That’s correct. We do need teachers to bring a cultural understanding to the multiplication tables/

From Wikipedia , “The term affirmative action refers to policies that take race, ethnicity, or sex into consideration in an attempt to promote equal opportunity or increase ethnic or other forms of diversity. The focus of such policies ranges from employment and education to public contracting and health programs. The impetus towards affirmative action is twofold: to maximize diversity in all levels of society, along with its presumed benefits, and to redress perceived disadvantages due to overt, institutional, or involuntary discrimination. Opponents argue that it promotes reverse discrimination.”

BSD children will grow up to invent green energy products and teach other children.

The New England Common Assessment Program (NECAP) tests reading, writing, math and science in elementary and secondary schools. The annual achievement tests were developed to meet the Federal No Child Gets Ahead Act. The program is one of the primary yardsticks to measure school performance in New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Vermont.

NECAP Scores: 15 (0.2%) BHS students qualified for the National Merit Scholarship Program last year and eight students (0.1%) won awards in New England’s Technology Student Association competition. On the other hand, 43% of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in math. 46% of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in science. A whopping 52% (that’s more than half for those in Burlington schools) of Burlington students are “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in writing.

These children will elect representatives and pass laws.

By all appearances, Ms Seguino and the other parents believe Burlington will improve the 3Rs with an affirmative action program for faculty hiring where about 7 of every 16 Burlington students is “partially proficient” or “substantially below proficient” in math.

These children will pay off the deficit?

I may have jumped to an incorrect conclusion, though. Do you suppose President Barack Obama uses different arithmetic because he is black?

Louder Than … ?

Caroline Cartwright, 48, a Tyne and Wear woman whose raucous lovemaking earned her an Anti-Social Behaviour Order and multiple arrests, declared that the order is a violation of her human rights.

According to court records, Sunderland City Council installed “specialist equipment” that recorded noise levels of between 30 and 40 decibels, “with the highest being 47 decibels.”

Lowest limit of urban ambient sound … 40 dB
Bird calls … 44 dB
Loud sex in the neighbourhood … priceless

Positive Vibes

It’s the Keys, mon. The sweat rolling off my back doesn’t turn into ice cubes before it hits the floor.

I had a mostly uneventful trip from North Puffin to South Puffin last week. I bought half a sailboat and didn’t buy a motor home.

Half a boat conjures a Wiley Coyote image of a bald guy hanging onto the mast, trying to keep the chewed off after end out of the drink. That would be a small error. Rufus bought the other half, so we’re probably safe as long as I can keep him away from the chainsaw. We spent a couple of days completing the purchase, getting the trailer tags, making sure everything would stay connected. He fed me well.

Speaking of chewed off after ends, my neighbor Joe went fishing yesterday and almost boated a pretty nice mackerel. Except he had reeled the fish in to withing spitting distance of the boat when a much larger mackerel saw dinner on the hook and chomped off the back half. No shaking, no rending, no tearing. Open wide. Bite down. Swim away. ‘Nother reason I pefer fishing for cow.

I tend to listen to podcasts and talk shows while driving so I discovered a surprisingly conservative broadcast about a news media watchdog’s 40th anniversary on C-Span, of all venues. Of course, C-Span is kind of the public access television for inside the Beltway, so perhaps it is not so surprising.

The trailer towed easily at all speeds and neither the tires nor the bearings got hot. The traffic cooperated. I even drove right through D.C. and, other than the G.P.S. scolding me about “better routes,” had no tie-ups. Even the rain wasn’t too bad to drive through. The motel yard cats liked the boat at each stop.

Gas gas price war prices climbed through the entre trip. I stopped for gas at a 7-11 in Port Charlotte, Florida. The road signs advertise a $2.589/gallon price for regular. The actual price at the pump was $2.739/gallon. The store clerk told me no manager was at the store but one would “probably” be available on Monday.

Later, I checked in to a Red Roof Inn in Naples. The Florida Roomsaver ad promised “It’s all new under the Roof” with gourmet coffee, a free USA Today, and WiFi Internet access through T-Mobile.

Not every motel in the Florida Roomsaver offers Internet access but all that do offer it just as they do a complimentary hot breakfast or the towels — included the cost of the room. After I checked in, the clerk told that the WiFi Internet access through T-Mobile would cost me $8/day. I could buy the T-Mobile card then, he said, and ask for a refund in the morning. I spent the evening without any ability to check mail, plan my route, or download porn. I never saw a paper, either.

I’ll write the usual nastygrams. I can pretend that 7-11 will sanction the franchisee and Red Roof will give me a free night somewhere. I can even file deceptive advertising complaints with the Florida Attorney General and, as an ExxonMobil shareholder, I will ask that company to pull Exxon and Mobil gasoline from all 7-11s nationwide. It certainly leaves me not liking what’s “all new” under the roof. Or at the 7-11.

I ‘spect the most I’ll get is this blog entry.

Running the Tamiami through the Everglades in daylight was the best part of the trip. I stopped at the Collier-Seminole State Park just to see what is there this week and discovered the 1924 Bay City walking dredge. It is on the National Register as the earliest remaining dredge of that type. Designed to work in the swamps that bog down traditional wheeled or tracked construction equipment, it dredged the canals for the roadbed fill that created the Tamiami Trail at a rate of 80 feet per 18 hour day. There are several heron rookeries along the way, so I stopped a couple of times. The herons in the Glades are less trusting of people so they flushed as soon as I walked along the shoulder. On the other hand, the observation deck of the Oasis Visitor Center at Big Cypress National Preserve gives a bird’s eye view of eight alligators, plus active fish, herons and cormorants, and other wildlife such as tourists.

The Styrofoam “Omaha” meat cooler still had northern ice — I did not refresh its ice during the trip. That may not make the record books but it sure worked for me. On the downside, I can’t pick my nose any more. A neighbor is sitting in his living room across the canal, looking in my living room at me looking in his living room at him.

Good thing I didn’t tarry any longer on the road, though. I ran out of clean underwear.

Ah, heck. Who needs underwear? It’s the Keys, mon.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

Ahhhh. The sounds of silence. Not the song that propelled Simon and Garfunkel to worldwide fame but rather the reason so many people prefer living on rural roads: to be away from the revving engines and gunshots that punctuate city streets.

There ought to be a law.

Vermont held its youth waterfowl hunting weekend Saturday and Sunday. Hunters under the age of 16 got to hunt ducks and geese statewide during this “introductory” season as long as an adult accompanied them. The adult may not hunt or carry a firearm. Both must have Vermont hunting licenses but neither the youth nor the adult is required to hold a state or federal duck stamp for the weekend.

I like to sleep in until 8 or 8:30 on weekends but the North Puffin farmhouse sits on the shore of a bay popular with ducks. Our neighbor Madeleine fed the ducks for many years and we on this bay had an informal moratorium on hunting shanties. It is a tranquil body of water.

Shotguns — even those pointed at the sky — pounding the dawn a few hundred feet from my bed do bust tranquility. Pretty hard on the ducks, too.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

A South Puffin ordinance prohibits either Leatherface Hewitt or Lynyrd Skynyrd from starting a chainsaw within city limits before 9 a.m. It is an irritant to construction workers but pleasant for residents.

The regular duck season opens Saturday-week, October 10, in the Lake Champlain and Interior Vermont Zones but next Tuesday October 6 in the Connecticut River Zone. The split season Lake Champlain Zone runs just three days then restarts on October 24 and runs through December 18. Legal shooting hours for waterfowl begin one-half hour before sunrise every day of the season and end at sunset.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Duck hunting doesn’t come cheap.

25 rounds of Winchester® XPert® 12 Gauge 3-1/2 inch steel shotshells for waterfowl costs between $10 and $40 bucks, depending on size and where you buy them. A buck a shot.

Gas for the boat and the truck to tow it costs between $6 and $126 bucks, depending on how far you tow and how fast you (don’t) row.

A good night’s sleep: priceless.