I had a dream. I can promise you that no pepperonis died in the making of my restless slumber.

---

Sympathizers, Listen up. I dreamed that Vermont has passed a law requiring Vermont cops to arrest Asian people they suspect of passing counterfeit money in Quick Stops. The Secret Service reports that producing or using illegal counterfeit money is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death (life imprisonment is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL (Anti Counterfeiting Defamation League) has organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Montpelier and Burlington to protest the law; Sen. Bernard Sanders (I-Vermont) (no relation to the Colonel) has written the Justice Department to insist that they sue the state to block its enforcement law.

Sen. Sanders charged that the Vermont law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-counterfeiting policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, Asian rights advocates say the law improperly targets Asians based solely on their race and ethnicity.

The hits just keep on coming. I dreamed that Florida has passed a law requiring cops to arrest black people they suspect of using stolen credit cards in Quick Stops. Illegal credit card fraud is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death if you are black in the South (life imprisonment is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL has also organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Tallahassee, Miami, and Key West to protest the law; Sen. Sanders has written the Justice Department about this one, too, to insist that they sue Florida to block its enforcement law.

Sen. Sanders charged that the Florida law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-credit card fraud policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, black rights advocates say the law improperly targets blacks based solely on their race and ethnicity.

Number 3. I dreamed that Arizona has passed a law requiring cops to card anyone they suspect of being in this country illegally. Illegal border crossing is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death if you are an al Qaeda representative but $10-15/hour for life if you are Hispanic (a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world as long as it is Mexico is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL has also organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Phoenix and neighboring Scottsdale to protest the law; Sen. Sanders has written the Justice Department about this one, too, to insist that they sue Arizona to block its immigration law.

Sen. Sanders (busybody that he is — hey it’s my dream) charged that the Arizona law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-immigration policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, Hispanic rights advocates say the law improperly targets Hispanics based solely on their race and ethnicity.

Attorney General Eric Holder said he wants to nip the state laws I dreamt up in the bud because they “contravene federal policy where it comes to enforcement.”

---

On Face the Nation this morning, General Holder called the ten unregistered Russian agents “illegals.” The FBI, he said, spent 10 years investigating them.

The Feds sent the Russians packing last week, something Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer says the Feds can’t seem to do with any other illegals.

If you see yourself in my dream examples, you might ask yourself WHY ON EARTH ANY AMERICAN CITIZEN WOULD CONDONE LAWBREAKING.

It is worth noting that the term “illegal” in a person’s description usually connotes “breaking a law.” And that’s no dream.