Attention Sympathizers!

I had a dream. I can promise you that no pepperonis died in the making of my restless slumber.


Sympathizers, Listen up. I dreamed that Vermont has passed a law requiring Vermont cops to arrest Asian people they suspect of passing counterfeit money in Quick Stops. The Secret Service reports that producing or using illegal counterfeit money is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death (life imprisonment is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL (Anti Counterfeiting Defamation League) has organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Montpelier and Burlington to protest the law; Sen. Bernard Sanders (I-Vermont) (no relation to the Colonel) has written the Justice Department to insist that they sue the state to block its enforcement law.

Sen. Sanders charged that the Vermont law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-counterfeiting policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, Asian rights advocates say the law improperly targets Asians based solely on their race and ethnicity.

The hits just keep on coming. I dreamed that Florida has passed a law requiring cops to arrest black people they suspect of using stolen credit cards in Quick Stops. Illegal credit card fraud is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death if you are black in the South (life imprisonment is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL has also organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Tallahassee, Miami, and Key West to protest the law; Sen. Sanders has written the Justice Department about this one, too, to insist that they sue Florida to block its enforcement law.

Sen. Sanders charged that the Florida law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-credit card fraud policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, black rights advocates say the law improperly targets blacks based solely on their race and ethnicity.

Number 3. I dreamed that Arizona has passed a law requiring cops to card anyone they suspect of being in this country illegally. Illegal border crossing is a federal crime that carries a maximum sentence of death if you are an al Qaeda representative but $10-15/hour for life if you are Hispanic (a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world as long as it is Mexico is usually the maximum penalty).

The ACDL has also organized the first of a series of simultaneous marches in Phoenix and neighboring Scottsdale to protest the law; Sen. Sanders has written the Justice Department about this one, too, to insist that they sue Arizona to block its immigration law.

Sen. Sanders (busybody that he is — hey it’s my dream) charged that the Arizona law “crossed a constitutional state line” and threatens to launch a “patchwork of state and local anti-immigration policies throughout the country” banned when federal law usurped local authority. Further, Hispanic rights advocates say the law improperly targets Hispanics based solely on their race and ethnicity.

Attorney General Eric Holder said he wants to nip the state laws I dreamt up in the bud because they “contravene federal policy where it comes to enforcement.”


On Face the Nation this morning, General Holder called the ten unregistered Russian agents “illegals.” The FBI, he said, spent 10 years investigating them.

The Feds sent the Russians packing last week, something Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer says the Feds can’t seem to do with any other illegals.

If you see yourself in my dream examples, you might ask yourself WHY ON EARTH ANY AMERICAN CITIZEN WOULD CONDONE LAWBREAKING.

It is worth noting that the term “illegal” in a person’s description usually connotes “breaking a law.” And that’s no dream.

3 thoughts on “Attention Sympathizers!

  1. Man, you sure stole my thunder. I watched *Diamonds Are Forever* yesterday on VHS and was going to post about my dream last night with Jill St. John. Now, after reading yours nobody will even give my posting a first look.

    I guess it’s just as well because I really did look silly in that Ronald MacDonald get-up.

    But getting back to your dream, none of that could possibly happen, so go back to sleep. No self-respecting Asian would travel all that distance from the Pacific Rim to Vermont just to pass bogus bills in a Quick Stop. Besides, AG Eric Holder is a States Rights advocate who will protect the soveriegn rights of the individual states from being trampled over by the remnant policies of George Bush.

    I heard George Stephanopoulos say so.

    And as for the Arizona part of your dream, you can rest easy. I heard on TV that nobody from mexico wants to go there because of the dry heat. Stephanopoulos also said that.

    Or maybe I was dreaming.

    — George

  2. The NYTimes reports that “Democratic governors expressed concern that the Obama administration’s suit against Arizona’s new immigration law could cost a vulnerable Democratic Party in the fall elections.” Not a one of them seems worried that the Obama administration’s suit against Arizona is another encroachment of the Fed against their states.

Comments are closed.