One Piece At A Time

August 17, 2009 by Dick.

With apologies to Johnny Cash and writer Wayne Kemp who inadvertently chronicled our present health care delivery system, One Piece At A Time: Mr. Cash left Kentucky back in ‘49 and went to Detroit workin’ on the assembly line. He smuggled out a piece, he smuggled out a pair, and sooner or later he had a car out there.

Well I left Kentucky back in ‘49 and
Went to Washington work on the assembly line
The first year they had me puttin’ peeps on Medicare
Every day I’d watch them beauties roll by
And sometimes I’d hang my head and cry
Cuz I always wanted me one that was big and fair
One day I devised myself a plan
That should be the envy of most any man
I’d sneak it outta there in a lunchbox in my hand
Now gettin’ caught meant gettin’ fired
But I figured I’d have it all by the time I retired
I’d have me a plan worth at least 100 grand

I’d get it one piece at a time
And it wouldn’t cost me a dime
You’ll know it’s me when I come through your town
I’m gonna ride around in style
I’m gonna drive everybody wild
Cuz I’ll have the only one there is around

So the very next day when I punched in
With my big lunchbox and with help from my friend
I left that day with a lunchbox of blood smears
I’ve never considered myself a thief
But America wouldn’t miss one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years
The first day I found me a breast lump
And the next day I got me a freestanding birth center
Then I got me an ambulance and all the chrome
The little things I could get in my big lunchbox
Like pins and gowns and electroshocks
But the big stuff we snuck out my buddy’s mobile home
Now up to now my plan went alright
‘Til we tried to put it all together one night
And that’s when we noticed that somethin’ was definitely wrong
The insurance checks were from ‘53 and
The hospital bill was a ‘73 and
When we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone
So we drilled it out so that it would fit and
With a little help from an adapter kit
We had that hospital runnin’ like a song
Now the OR lights, they was another sight
We had 2 on the left and 1 on the right
But when we pulled out the switch all 3 of ‘em come on
The back end looked kinda funny too
But we put it together and when we got through
Well that’s when we noticed that we only had 1 bed pan
About that time my wife walked out and
I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts
But she opened the door and said
“Honey, take me for a spin”
Drove uptown just to get our subsidies and
I headed her right on down main drag
I could hear everybody cryin’ for blocks around
But up there at the Congress they didn’t laugh
Cuz to type it up it took the whole staff and
The final Health Care Reform Act weighed 60 pounds

I’d got it one piece at a time
And it didn’t cost me a dime
You’ll know taxes ain’t never going down
I’m gonna ride around in style
I’m gonna drive everybody wild
Cuz I’ll have the only one there is around

Uh, yeah Red Rider this is the Cotton Mouth in the
Psycho Billy HMO, come on
Huh?
Uh, this is the Cotton Mouth and neg-a-tory on the
Cost of this moe-sheen there Red Rider
You might say I went right up to the factory and
Picked it up, it’s cheaper that way
Uh, what model is it?
It’s a 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59
patchwork blanket
It’s a 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70
holey basket.

We built our Health Care system pretty much that way. One Piece At A Time. And just like that 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 automobile, the gas tank leaks and the engine makes funny noises.

Everybody in this discussion, from the most fervent ObamaCare supporter to the most ardent contrarian, has a good answer for patching up a rusty old car that runs on three cylinders and has two flat tires. It might keep us going to the next exit, but it won’t carry the family across the country on vacation.

The same Democrats pushing patches on the current system want to reinvent the automobile from the ground up but all they want to do with health care is find a few more people to cover and another way to pay for it.

The same Republicans opposing changes to the current system want to keep that clunker but all they can to do with health care is keep the money from flowing to Washington.

We deserve better. We need to start from scratch. And if your Congress Critter or President tries to pay this new 1,000 page tax bill with your wallet, throw da bum out.

Sing it with me now,
It’s a 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59
patchwork angina
It’s a 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70
insurance black hole.

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