Cockroaches Can Save Us Money!

Even as Repuglicans have abandoned the state of palmetto trees for the state of palmetto bugs, we must ponder the age old question of giant carnivorous insects, why do cockroaches fly?

Our Keys cockroaches rarely fly; they train the smaller shore birds to bring them food.

We spray the land and the air which explains a lot about our personalities. We used to have a fleet of DC-3s but those as well as the bat tower on Sugarloaf Key have been mostly abandoned. Now, the Mosquito Air Force has an $7.4 million hardened hangar at Marathon-Florida Keys Airport that allows them to fly any helicopter in rather than towing it. They built the hangar to save us money! All those ‘cides haven’t touched the “palmetto bugs,” though.

Are flying cockroaches smarter than people?

RED CROSS FINED OVER BLOOD SAFETY
Health care issue. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration fined the American Red Cross $9.59 million because 16 of its facilities failed to comply with blood-safety rules. More than 15 months ago. The FDA found “significant violations” in 2010 including inadequate “managerial control,” record-keeping, and quality assurance but there were no serious health consequences for blood recipients.

The fine will save us money. Won’t it?

KEYS RESIDENTS URGED TO VOTE
School tax issue. Monroe County Schools have been recently built and renovated, yet over $9 million remains in the capital improvements budget, that is currently needed for operational expenses, in the everyday classroom.

If voters approve the measure, 0.5 mill of the capital ad valorem tax will be moved to the operating budget to pay for teacher salaries, classroom supplies, and school athletic programs. Some $9 million is up for grabs. .

“Failure to pass this measure means that existing taxes will be frozen in capital accounts, and not available to pay the daily costs of running our schools,” past Superintendent John R. Padget wrote.

The Monroe County Democratic Executive Committee “urges all Democrats — and all voters — to support passage of this referendum.”

Sure. It will save us money. Won’t it?

Our elected reps want to move millions of taxpayer dollars around in an effort to save us money.

Let’s see. If we take money from the Red Cross at their offices over here, that means they have to charge more for blood at the hospital over there. Oooh, bonus. Health care costs go UP.

Maybe we should take money from the building fund so our general tax rates go down a hapenny. Oooh, bonus. When the roof blows off the (newish) building, we can write BONDS to pay for that.

Perhaps we could take money from the Social Security Trust Fund so our general tax rates go down. Oooh, bonus. Our grandchildren have to buy 401Ks.

Oh, wait. We already did that.

I learned at least half a century ago that when the used car salesman offers to “save you money,” hold onto your wallet ’cause you’re going for a ride.

Are flying cockroaches smarter than people?

Could be. Their Social Security seems sound since there are still more shorebirds than bugs and they haven’t even once tried to convince their prey to like being eaten.

Random Scribbles


Over the weekend I happened to see a commercial for Audi’s new handwriting recognition pad in the center console.

Handwriting recognition pad?

In a car???

It’s no longer breaking news that texting while driving is a bad idea. A 2009 Virginia Tech Transportation Institute study reveals just how dangerous it can be. The VTTI examined the behavior of truck drivers over more than 6 million miles and found that people who send text messages while driving are 23 times more likely to be in a crash (or what they call a “near-crash event”) than undistracted drivers.

The study used in truck cameras to capture where the drivers’ eyes were looking as they drove, dialed cell phones, talked on the cell phones, reached for objects around the cab, and texted. Not surprisingly, the tasks that took a driver’s eyes off the road caused ramped up the risk.

In crashes or near-crashes, texting took a driver’s focus away from the road for an average of 4.6 seconds. That’s more than three times the average reaction time to jam on the brakes when a tree — or a kid — jumps out in front of you. It’s enough time to travel the length of a football field at highway speeds.

I crashed my mom’s Comet convertible when I was a teenager. I didn’t have a cellphone. I couldn’t text. But I did have a car radio. I took my eyes off the road just for an instant and a culvert jumped right out in front of me.

Mom was not pleased.

The VTTI agrees. Avoiding any task that takes your eyes off the road avoids taking your car off the road.

Last month, Audi announced a national initiative to have drivers across America take the Audi “Driver’s Pledge” to make the road a more intelligent and presumably safer place. They encourage all drivers to take a stand exemplifying responsible driving:


pledge
I added the final promise, the one in italics, to the list. Audi apparently forgot that one.

Taxing

The Vermont House gave preliminary approval today to legislation that adds a new 55-cent monthly surcharge to my electric bill. The new “revenue” will fund the Clean Energy Development Fund.

Critics call the tax regressive.

Of course, it was OK, when Vermont Yankee covered the $6 million annual cost but lawmakers expect to shut that nuclear plant down next year.

A Nation of Suggestions

The immigration debate moves to the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday in a challenge to the Arizona law that punishes employers who knowingly hire illegal workers. Court watchers expect that this action will signal how the court might handle the more expansive Arizona immigration enforcement law SB1070.

The governator of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger turned down a commencement address in Arizona last May because “with his accent, he was afraid they would try to deport him back to Austria.”

I suggested then that we should, perhaps, boycott Los Angeles since that whole city had lined up to encourage blatantly illegal behavior.

Arizona’s law requires employers to verify the eligibility of new workers through a federal database. Arizonans hoped it would shrink their status as the center of immigrant smuggling.

“Immigrants can’t ‘steal jobs’ nobody else wants,” my friend Lido “Lee” Bruhl suggested. “If it weren’t for the guest workers, all those jobs would go to Mexico or someplace else overseas.”

Huh?

“And don’t even get me started on the so-called ‘economic burden’ of immigrants,” he continued. “The reverse is actually true. They receive less health care, less welfare, less public schooling than our own downtrodden do. Immigration actually improves economic conditions, because those so-called ‘illegal’ immigrants spend money on the same things everybody else does.”

Yeppers. Like coyotes. And sending money back to the economy of Mexico.

Um, Lee? Hello, Lee? Earth to Lee?

Congress has jinkered with how aliens may cross the border and with immigration policy since the Naturalization Act of 1790. Back then, only “free white persons” of “good moral character” could become naturalized. Fortunately for them, most of today’s Congressmen are native born. Congress increased the residency requirement to five years in 1795, a requirement remains the law of the land to this day.

The McCarran-Walter Act of 1952 has been amended many times and is contained in the United States Code as the basic body of immigration law. That law defines who is an alien and delineates the rights, duties, and obligations of aliens in the United States. The alien must establish that he is admissible to the United States as an immigrant. It’s the law.

“That doesn’t matter,” Lee said. “These people are here now.”

Ignorance can be fixed.
Stupidity is forever.

“Our border with Canada is the longest nonmilitarized border in the world,” INS Executive Associate Commissioner Michael A. Pearson told Congress in 1999. “This border, however, is not unmonitored or uncontrolled. The INS maintains 114 Ports-of-Entry (POEs), 8 Border Patrol Sectors, and 44 Patrol stations along the 3,987 miles of border with Canada (excluding Alaska).” The INS maintains another 43 Ports-of-Entry along our 1,969 miles of border with Mexico.

Perhaps Lee would like those Ports of Entry emptied so people guest workers can simply walk across anywhere.

I understand why liberals like Lee don’t geddit.

Laws are only advisory.If your Congress decrees that an evil, dirty, dark business must or a nasty, rich Republican baron must give up property or starve Mexicans by increasing ethanol in gasoline, why then those laws must be enforced.

On the other hand, if the other Congress, the one made up of evil, dirty, dark businesses and nasty, rich Republican barons decrees that crossing the border is illegal, why those laws are safe to ignore.

By George, I geddit now.

Gulf. Seawater. Explodes.

A friend posted a news clip on Facebook, to wit:

Recently, a News 5 investigation collected samples from multiple beaches in and around the Gulf region. Samples were taken in areas where kids were playing and swimming. The results were absolutely terrifying.

Good thing she didn’t test for arsenic. Also a good thing she didn’t read any actual scientific papers, I replied.

It sure would be refreshing to find a local news anchor who had even the remotest clue about science.

Another Facebook buddy commented on the link.

“@Dick: Did you actually watch the clip? If you had, you would know that the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist (a “he”), and you’d also know that the sample was being tested for oil concentration, and underwent a surprisingly violent reaction that destroyed its Erlenmeyer flask because it contained an unknown component (dispersant? methane? they didn’t know).”

Pfui. He was trolling, right? Surely he must have been trolling. If he has heard the word Erlenmeyer flask somewhere, then he has enough technical knowledge to understand that (a) the reporter had no idea what she was talking about, (b) the report was full of scare stuff and devoid of much science stuff, and © Erlenmeyer flasks have flat bottoms. Jessica Taloney (the “she” I referenced) was the reporter. I don’t know if she has a flat bottom.

Robert Naman, the chemist “she” interviewed, told us that sea water typically has about 5 ppm of oil. The reporter scared us by saying “from 16 ppm to 221 ppm, our results are concerning.” Why? She didn’t tell us if 221 gallons of oil in a million gallons of sea water is fatal to humans or if it is only a problem when she needs ratings. She didn’t tell us if the oil in the marina (the highest concentration she measured) was from Deepwater Horizon or from a leak on the boat she used to dip the water. Marinas usually have higher concentration of oil in the water than beaches. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

But the comment about the sample came from an analytical chemist.

Woo hoo. I Googled. Didn’t find anything about Robert Naman in the ACS rolls. The exploded flask did “contain an unknown component” so they speculated on how bad it was but SHE DIDN’T TELL US WHAT BLEW UP BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

“News 5 will test that water for chemicals, specifically chemicals linked to the dispersant being used in the Gulf, Corexit,” Ms. Taloney reported alarmingly.

Well, isn’t that special. Mr. Naman doesn’t know what caused the explosion but Ms. Taloney will make sure they hang it on a chemical she knows nothing about.

I’m not a chemist nor do I play one on TV. I have no idea, based on the “WKRG News” report, whether the amount of oil they found is a reasonable average for the areas they sampled, is toxic in the concentrations they did find, or even if it came from Deepwater Horizon. I have no idea because the reporter did such a lousy job. SHE DIDN’T TELL US BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW. And neither did my Facebook buddy.

Unfortunately, my Facebook buddy (and WKRG “News”) want to make it into something that keeps us scared.

Gulf. Seawater. Explodes. And that, dear reader, is how the media deceives us.