Ho Hum, Just Another Crisis

The news of the week is filled with such exceptionally crucial questions that it may be hard to get down to the merely important but mundane issues. Did a Massachusetts man really turn over 94 hamsters to the animal shelter because he ran out of room in his apartment? Should you really bring a chainsaw to the hospital so the white noise will help you sleep? And did Sweden really recognize the Church of Kopimism so it could avoid persecution? (Copy-Me-Ism‘s name is derived from the words “let me steal from the Internet”; persecution is the new spelling for “bring to trial.”)

Long time computer pundit and curmudgeon John C. Dvorak opined that “most countries, including the United States, will eventually shut down the ‘World Wide’ Web” in favor of a limited, ‘Nation-wide’ web. “It solves endless political problems with the Web that plague almost every country,” he wrote.

Countries are a wee bit nervous. After all, we might be able to watch reruns of Family Guy on Hulu. Or look up how to pronounce Mr. Dvorak’s name.

First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn’t speak out because I was Protestant.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Pastor Martin Niemöller

North Korea has a national Internet so they can order nationwide mourning for their fearless leader.

China wants a national Internet so they can cut off access to Google. That regime is freaked that the China Spring has nothing to do with mattresses, unless the Chinese people suddenly go to them.

Iran wants a national Internet so they can cut off access to Faux News. The Ayatollahs are panic-stricken that the Arab Spring they fomented could spread to their house.

First McCarthy came for the communists,
and you approved because you hate communists and that would protect you.

Then Bush came for the air travelers,
and you approved because you hate terrorists and that would protect you.

Then Obama came for General Motors,
and you approved because you hate big business and that would protect you.

Then Scott Walker came for the trade unionists,
and you approved because you hate trade unionists and that would protect you.

Then Congress came for the Internet,
and you approved because you could still shop on Amazon.

Then they came for you.
and there was no way left to speak out …

Did you worry when the City of Lakewood, Ohio, seized private homes so a private developer could build yupscale condos or the City of Mesa, AZ, would “redeveloped” a multigenerational bike shop out so an Ace Hardware Store could pay higher taxes? You didn’t worry when the Administration nationalized Government Motors. Are you worried about the 94 hamsters yet?