Sea Kittens Are Us

PETA has gone off the deep end.

The terrorist group determined to end humankind’s position at the top of the food chain has learned to be soft and fuzzy. Probably from Al Gore, the Nobel laureate who has mastered the art of advertising to move most of a population away from real science.

PETA wants to rename fish.

Renaming fish is their 2009 contribution to political correctness.

Kindergarten educators (I can’t call them teachers because teachers know better) want to prevent kindergarten bullies from offending the less fortunate. The Political Correctness Police (ever wonder why that equates to PCP?) compel us to avoid upsetting the non-white, the homosexual, any female, the crippled, the ugly, the fat, or the stupid. One of my favorite Clint Eastwood movies is “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” The man in the lice-ridden poncho would lose a lot of punch if he starred in “The Good, The Goodness-Challenged, and The Unfortunately Handsomeness-Challenged.”

Political correctness comes in all flavors and all of them irk me.

I wonder whether Brazilians are annoyed by the name we have given (mostly) Bolivian almendra nut. The annual harvest of Brazil nuts is about 20,000 tons; Bolivia sends about half of those to market.

The American Fisheries Society moved Floridians to call the jewfish the “goliath grouper.” The Oxford English Dictionary lists the first usage of “jewfish” in this 1697 quote: “The Jew-Fish is a very good fish and, I judge, so called by the English because it hath scales and fins, therefore a clean fish, according to Levitical law.”

Seconds before his ouster in 1999, public advocate David Howard, was quoted thusly, “I will have to be niggardly with this fund…” The political firestorm came as others called this 700 year-old synonym for miserly, a “racist” epithet.

Muslims have castigated Prince Harry for calling a fellow cadet a “raghead.” (As an aside, I find it interesting that it is politically CORRECT for Muslims pledge to kill all American infidels and to shout *death to Israel*.)

The term “politically correct” traces back to Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book and was adopted in the 1960s by the radical left. RightSpeak (or in this case, LeftSpeak), ought to give us pause no matter what the origin. After all, the entropy of the universe never dwindles and once your peers decide they can trash your mental treasury, the penalties they impose grow larger with every alleged infraction.

The death of language comes when words lose their meaning in favor of their consequences.

Got to dial it back:

I do not use racial or ethnic slurs.

I do know that people who call me a redneck WASP show only their own brilliance.

I do know kids need to build immunity to germs both bacterial and conversational.

I do not tolerate RightSpeak or RightThink.

And now PETA wants us to call all fish, “sea kittens.”

“Nobody would hurt a sea kitten!” the group says on its website.

They hope to start their campaign to end “fishing” by retiring the name for good.

OK, OK, I understand that no one takes PETA seriously and the sea kitten campaign is at best laughable. I’m not laughing. PETA’s agenda is quite simply to destroy our meat and fish industries which, when you look at the expected results, means PETA’s agenda is to destroy humankind.

After all, it is already so illegal to catch or eat a kosher goliath grouper in Florida waters that the penalty for simply having one aboard may be forfeiture of one’s fishing boat.

Time to trot out my recipes for cat.

Guest Post: Geno on Changing Political Party Affiliation

Regular correspondent Geno sent this along:

Yesterday I went to my financial planner with a check for $30,000 and purchased a fixed-index annuity. I had withdrawn the money from a passbook savings account that paid me .75% interest, and when I purchased the annuity I got an immediate 15% bonus ($4500).

So, my $30M in the savings account would earn me about $300 a year after compounding, but the 15% bonus on the annuity earned me $4500. That equals $34,450 or an increase of $4500. The downside is that I can only draw out %15 of it per year for income if I need it. I don’t need it.

I have a half dozen of those, and a couple are well above $100M–and each of them will let me draw out 10% per year for income if I need it. I don’t need it–because…

…Mrs Geno and I sat down last night and figured it out. Since President-elect Obama’s tax plan will ensure that no one earning less than $50 will have to pay income tax, she and I will join the Democrat party in 2010. She plans to retire in 2010–after which we will both be pensioners, earning prolly around $27,000 and only withdrawing enough from our annuities to stay below the $50M cut-off line.

Of course, once we are democrats we will vote to make sure that the arrogant people earning above $50M get no tax relief. Screw them, the selfish f***ers.

Hoperfully Universal Health Care will have become a reality by then or shortly thereafter. It sure would be nice to sit back with $50M and not have to pay anything out for taxes or victimization expenses like health care and such. Mebbe we can get a tax rebate for driving old cars–even though we will not have paid any taxes. I love liberalism.

I have always wanted to be a democrat because I love Katie Couric … and that Dan Rather was a hoot.

Happy New Year!

Curmudgery.

I enjoy my role as a curmudgeon and we all know that Curmudgery sells newspapers better than kitten rescues. After all, we get a warm and fuzzy feeling in our hearts for the firemen who spend thousands of taxpayer dollars digging a bedraggled, mewling, critter out of a storm drain, only to have it procreate more brain-dead, sewer-jumping progeny to add to the gene pool. However, comma, that story doesn’t sell newspapers. It gets buried on page 34. Below the fold.

People want blood.

People want gore.

People want veins in their teeth.

At the race track we regularly repeated this litany that was true-to-life for most spectators:

Was there a crash? I hope there wasn’t a crash!
Was anybody hurt? I hope no one was hurt!
Was there blood? I hope there wasn’t blood!
Did anybody die?

Speaking of car wrecks, Happy New Year!

I most sincerely hope. You know the saying, “It can’t get any worse?” Well, of course it can but I doubt it can get any more surreal. I mean, who could make this stuff up? If I had written that Ken Lay went to jail but AIG CEO Martin Sullivan took $15 million in cash as his company but-for-the-grace-of-thee-and-me sank and that Merrill Lynch CEO Jeff Thain would ask for a $10 million bonus because he “kept the losses to only eleven billion dollars,” nobody would believe it.

It is dispiriting to have to hammer on the same bad behavior by crooks in business, crooks in finance, and congress critters.

So, here’s the deal. I want to smile more in this new year. Send me happy stories. I can’t guarantee I will spin all of them into columns but I can guarantee they will make me smile.