“Dayumn, That JLo Is a Comely Thing”

The Chrysler/Fiat marketing masterminds have followed native-son rapper Eminem’s Chrysler 200 commercial “imported from Detroit” (I called it the best ad on the Super Bowl) with a new one.

Walter Chrysler founded his Chrysler Corporation out of the ashes of Maxwell-Chalmers to build cars in Detroit City in 1925. Since then, Chrysler has bought and shut down a number of car lines including AMC, American, Barreiros, Graham Brothers, Commer, DeSoto, Eagle, Canadian Fargo, Hillman, Hudson, Humber, Imperial, Karrier, Maxwell, Nash, Plymouth, Rambler, Renault, Simca, Singer, Sunbeam, and the Valiant in the U.S., Canada, and Australia.

After the DaimlerChrysler fiasco, the company sold 80.1% of Chrysler Group to Cerberus Capital Management, a private equity firm. In the 2009 Obamanatationalization, Daimler agreed to give its remaining 19.9% stake to Cerberus Capital Management and to pay another $600 million into the automaker’s pension fund. The Obamanation then financed the sale of old Chrysler’s assets to New Chrysler with $6.6 billion paid to Cerebus. Chrysler repaid its $7.6 billion loans to the United States and Canadian governments in May, 2011.

I have to wonder how it is that Chrysler’s stockholder (Cerebus) got the gold while General Motor’s stockholders (Rufus and me) got the shaft, all in the same year. I guess screwing over the German Daimler AG (and us) was enough for the Obamanation.

Anyway, Eminem grew up in Detroit as did the car company. Ad agency Wieden+Kennedy celebrated that. (Portland, Oregon-based Wieden+Kennedy, known for its Nike ads, replaced the BBDO as Chrysler’s agency of record in 2009.)

This week, the beautiful Jennifer Lopez sings and drives her way to endorse the new

wait for it

Fiat 500C.
JLo sold herself for a flee flop.

Rufus said, “The Chrysler/Fiat thing — especially the 500 — is one of the most hateful things about the Obamanation’s Detroit.

“If the Progressives like Italy so much, they should go Berlusconi. They can stay forever if they love it that much.

“But dayumn that JLo is a comely thing!”


So where’s the story? The Fiat is maybe the worst car sold in America since the Yugo but the bean counters and the Obamanation think the response in the ad is real.

Of course, the mob left the car behind when they carried off JLo. The bean counters and the Obamanation didn’t notice that.

Maybe JLo should have held out for an iPhone.

6 thoughts on ““Dayumn, That JLo Is a Comely Thing”

  1. enema, or however you spell his name, was in a very dramatic commercial. I enjoyed the look of rapture on some of those chorists’ faces when they started the low “ooooh” just before he turned to face the camera and rasp out “dis is da motah city, and dis is wut we do”, and then kind of point at us like he was a UFC fighter.

    For the rest?

    Of course! How else should it have played out? The wealthy get wealthy. The regular folk do regular folk stuff. It’s wut we do.

    No opinion on Fiat. Should we send it back to Italy?

  2. The Fiat 500 appeals on a pure style sense, which is refreshing for a subcompact because these are typically spartan tunacans with no pizazz, and people really should be able to choose an economical car with pizazz as well as a spartan tunacan. My all time favorite spartan tuna was the 1960’s Citroen 2CV, with the canvas seats. That’s right canvas, no padding, stretched between the steel tubing of the seat frame. My Norwegian uncle picked us up in one back in the day.

    At any rate, i’m considering buying a Fiat 500. It’s cheap relative to the mini cooper and large relative to the smart car.

  3. For the record, the Fiat is cheap relative to the Mini because the Mini is so much more car and large relative to the so-called Smart Car because the so-called Smart Car ain’t.

  4. Once had an old Chrysler Valiant. Young girl came round the corner in a veedub speeding like the clappers and lifted the Valiant onto its roof.
    Chryslers were kings in the 50s and 60s, their heyday, IMO. They were big and so powerful. Don’t wanna know ’bout the new stuff because they’re a form of blasphemy to the old big things. You still see them rolling today, though rarely now, considering that type of automobile.

  5. Can a person post to Facebook or Google+ with a SmartCar?

    I think not.

    Who on earth figured “SmartCar” would be a good name for a car you can’t even do email on, hmmm? It’s not even a CleverCar. It’s actually a “BasicRunOfTheMillAverageToStupidCar”, but of course they’re all doing the politically correct thing and hoping that persistent praise of the vehicle will help it improve its self image and maybe it could become a SmartCar simply by calling it that. Pin its artwork to the fridge and award it a ribbon so that “everybody wins!”


    It’s even stupid looking.

    I saw one of those square boxy vehicles the other day — Scion or something like that — and the driver was, like, totally proud of the shape of his car. He had a license plate that read “QBERT” or something like that, and a bumper sticker that read “Cubes Are Where Its At” and suchlike. Bet he lurves his cubicle at work, too.

    Give me sleek, curvy, shiny, sexy and something that looks like it’s exceeding land speed records even when it’s sitting perfectly still. Give me that any day. Keep your cubes and boxes and squares and Minis.

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