You can go pretty much everywhere and see pretty much everything in Florida from the water. That’s particularly true here in the Keys. Unless you happen to be on Card Sound.

Monroe County has found another use for Jersey barriers, boulders, and “No Trespassing” signs: the Sheriff closed down four public access areas near Card Sound Bridge including the Jet Ski Beach. County officials blamed “excessive weekend parties” and rowdiness left the area littered with trash not to mention the graffiti. Four popular Card Sound Road spots are now forbidden territory. Illicit. A no-no. Out of bounds. Gone.

For littering.

Yeah, as if a couple of signs will stop the parties.

Hang on while a couple of bars of the menu at Alice’s come around on the guitar.

I understand the idea of attractive nuisance.

“The attractive nuisance doctrine states that a landowner may be held liable for injuries to children trespassing on the land if the injury is caused by a hazardous object or condition on the land that is likely to attract children who are unable to appreciate the risk posed by the object or condition. The doctrine has been applied to hold landowners liable for injuries caused by abandoned cars, piles of lumber or sand, trampolines, and swimming pools. However, it can be applied to virtually anything on the property of the landowner.” (USLegal)

That (presumably) doesn’t apply to a public parking area but I also understand what municipalities think the attractive nuisance doctrine means.

“The doctrine states that pretty much any improvement you put on public land will attract some nuisance who will hurt himself and sue our asses collectively and individually. As a corollary, that nuisance will make a mess.”

(The Florida Department of Transportation has also shuttered Sea Oats Beach on Lower Matecumbe Key. Reason: trash.)

The FWC page describes these access areas as “Government Owned for General Public Use.”

The nearest (free) launching ramp in Monroe County is now about 40 miles south at Indian Key fill in Islamorada. I’ve never launched up there but plenty of pro fishermen and fishing guides have.

Since the guides use it, that sounds like restraint of trade to me.

For littering.

Remember when the nun lined up all the boys and said, “There will be no recess until the bad boy who wrote ‘sister sux’ on the blackboard comes forward”?

That was bad parenting then, too.