“F” can stand for a lot of things to different people–depending on where their mind is.

As a Morse Radio intercept operator in the military, we learned the code by associating the cadence of the dots and dashes of the letters in the alphabet to the cadence of ordinary phrases.

For example, to someone familiar with Morse code charts, “F” is written as dot dot dash dot. But experienced radio men do not use dots and dashes in their lingo. They use dits and dahs to stand for dots and dashes. So, from experienced lips, it would seem that “F” would be spoken as dit dit dah dit. But not so . Here’s why:

You see, in true radio lingo, when two consecutive dits are used to make part of the coded for a particular letter, they are not sounded as separate, single-syllable words, but are combined into one double-syllable word, and sounded out as “ditty”. So, dit dit becomes “ditty” when spoken.

Therefore, when “F” (dit dit dah dit)is articulated in experienced Morse lingo, as ditty dah dit, with the first two dits expressed as ditty, and final dit being expressed singularly as “dit”: “ditty dah dit”. See how simple that is?

Here’s where it gets funny:

As I said above, operators learn the code by associating the combined sounds of the dits and dahs in individual letters with the sound of ordinary phrases. An example: “N” in code is dah dit, and students learn that N–in code–sounds like “Got It”. (Geddit? Dah Dit, Got It). Okay…

Yes, every letter in the alphabet, when converted to Morse Code, has a similarly sounding phrase attached to it for learning purposes. For example, “Q” is, dah dah dit dah, or “Pay Day today”.

Believe it or not, this is the system that military radio schools use to teach young men and women how to recognize the sounds of dits and dahs of Morse Code and to be abe to slap the words down on paper.

And this brings me back to “F” day, and the subject of this message: Remember, “F” is ditty-dah-dit. And ditty dah dit sound like… (and you’re gonna just crap when you hear this)…in learning lingo, ditty dah dit sounds like “get a haircut”. So, today is the day I have to go get a haircut.

BTW, Beau Pinder (North Puffin’s mayor and general roue)’s initials are BP.

“B” is dah-dit-dit-dit, or dah ditty dit. In learning lingo, dah ditty dit sounds like “Big Chickenshit”. but it gets better:

“P” is sounded out as dit dah dah dit, or “The Girls Love it.”

Hasn’t this been an interesting message?

— George Poleczech