I’m not pregnant.

But I AM™ barefoot.

And despite all the photos to the contrary, I do not have a foot fetish.

But I certainly spend much of my time without shoes.

According to Wikipedia, “being barefoot is regarded as a human’s natural state, though for functional, fashion and social reasons footwear is worn, at least on some occasions.” Like when shoveling snow. “Many people do not wear footwear in their home and expect visitors to do the same.”

Perhaps it is a modern thing. Ötzi the Iceman had, well, shoes. And, of course, Errol Flynn died with his boots on.

Until the early 20th century, “the bare foot had been perceived as obscene, and no matter how determined barefoot dancers were to validate their art with reference to spiritual, artistic, historic, and organic concepts, barefoot dancing was inextricably linked in the public mind with indecency and sexual taboo.” Ruh oh. Salome shocked 1908 London with a barefoot dance of desire; Maud Allan became the lust object of the world.

Turns out I’m not alone.

Sandie Shaw was the Barefoot Pop Princess of the 1960s. Adele Coombs dreams of it. My hero Jimmy Buffett regularly performs barefoot. Deana Carter, Jewel, Patti LaBelle, Cyndi Lauper, Anne Murray (Anne Murray!), Linda Ronstadt, Shakira, and Ronnie Van Zant all have embraced freedom and splinters on stage.

According to the Society for Barefoot Living, neither OSHA nor state and local health departments require people to wear shoes in stores, restaurants, and other public places (the current regs apply to employees, not customers).

Say? Can I get some service over here?