Press 1 for Spanglish

I paid $3 to wash my truck in a $2.50 carwash over the weekend. That irritated me because I needed an extra few minutes to finish rinsing the thing and the Car Wash sign said “Add quarters for extra time.”

Of course, when I added the two extra quarters for extra time, it simply swallowed them and blinked at me.

Where are the illegal aliens when you need them? I would gladly pay $3 to some illegals to wash my truck. I went searching for some and got 3,170,000 hits in Google alone. Outraged Patriots leads that list.

Thirteen motel owners in Mesa, Arizona, were sentenced last week for catering to human smugglers and conspiracy to harbor illegal aliens. UPI reported that a US task force raided several Latino commercial establishments and arrested 49 people alleged to be illegal aliens who worked for a security company.

Huh. My great-x8-grandfather, Richard Barnard (ber-NARD), was born in Sheffield, Yorkshire, England, and sailed for the New World about 1642. Richard accompanied William Penn to the fertile southeastern counties of Pennsylvania (1). I guess that means that to the Lenni Lenape, my great x 8 grandfather was an illegal alien. Good thing the Lenni Lenape had less Homeland Security than we have today. And that conquerors don’t have to learn the Algonquian language known as Lenape (now “Delaware”).

I can think of a few reasons we don’t want people coming here from other countries to do the work we apparently don’t want to do. After all, they might change the way we live, change the foods we eat, change the way we manufacture things, and teach our wimmens a thing or two about love.

I’m all for it. After all, I come from alien stock. Just ask my kids. So do you, and you, and you. That fresh blood is one part of what makes this country great. I say we should spend our security efforts filtering out the peeps who want to rob and rape and maim and kill us and then invite the others in for a good party.

As long as we quit telling them they don’t have to learn English.

Want more detail? I wrote the op-ed Norman – French – English – Italian – Dutch – American for the Burlington Free Press about a dozen years ago. You can read it here.