New Tricks

Food for thought…

Yes, you can.

I grew up on Skippy Peanut Butter and Kraft Mayonnaise.

No, not in the same sandwich although I am partial to peanut butter and raisins.

Anyway, I like mayonnaise and use it on things that need it, like eggs and chicken and tuna and in cole slaw dressing. And it can get the gum out of your hair. Not Miracle Whip, though. Never Miracle Whip. Eeeew.

Miracle Whip tastes funny and is probably evil.

My neighbors cleaned out their fridge into mine when they headed north. One of the bonus materials is an open jar of Miracle Whip.

Hmm. I’m out of mayo and here’s this free jar of the spawn of the devil.

Turns out one can make a darned good chicken sandwich on sourdough with a little mouse cheese, a slice of tomato, and Miracle Whip.

Yes, you can.

I’ve long thought Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) was pretty typical of our more than slightly bent South Florida politicians and about the best the Democratic National Committee could find as party chair. After all, even the liberal stalwart Politifact rated her public pronouncements as ranging from half truths to having her pants on fire more than half the time.

Slice, dice, and spread on bread.

Turns out one can make a darned good career just whipping up a Miracle. It’s a good recipe for Ms. Clinton who put Ms. Wasserman Schultz on staff.

Yes, you can.

“I had made some carnitas so I had that with corn tortillas and a little salad for supper,” Liz Arden told me last night. Literally “little meats,” this pulled pork-style dish originated in Mexico. Carnitas “are made by braising or simmering pork in oil or preferably lard until tender. The process takes three to four hours and the result is very tender and juicy meat, which is then typically served with chopped coriander leaves and diced onion, salsa, guacamole, tortillas, and refried beans.” Some recipes add a little lime juice and I like to add Key lime.

I thought she didn’t like cilantro?

We served turkey-and-“cheese” sandwiches with mayo at the concert last night. That was a mistake. Not the mayo; that was fine. Processed cheese is a food product made from cheese and, more than likely, other unfermented dairy by-products plus emulsifiers, vegetable oils, salt, food colorings, and more. Store brand “Singles” may well leave out the cheese and anything else that came from a cow. The package I bought tasted like it had some cow by-products, just ones that came from the wrong end of the cow.

Turns out one can make a darned good turkey and cheese sammie. I’ll peel the “singles” out and put real cheese in the remainder before I eat another, you betcha.

Fortunately, we had good cake.


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