Throw Da Bums Out, III

The rain that started last night continued this morning. I awoke at 1:15 to shut down the westerly windows.

Westerly is one of those odd words that means not only “facing the west” as I just used it but also “from the west” when writing of the wind and even “westbound” in the sense of moving toward the west as Daniel Defoe wrote. It is also is a train station in Rhode Island but not, to my knowledge, in Delaware.

The theme of this series is that we have been rained on enough; now we need a loose cannon in Western politics. The Democrats almost have one (actually two, if you count Vermont’s former governor, Howard Dean) in Joe Biden, the newly anointed Vice Presidential candidate.

Senator Biden is not a westerly candidate although he is considered a westerner everywhere else in the world. Except he is from the East so he is considered an Easterner here. Isn’t English wonderful? I like Senator Biden. He is a bright, thoughtful, articulate man who is absolutely unafraid of speaking his mind.

Unfortunately, Senator Biden’s assigned role is not that of loose cannon nor even “general smart guy.” Senator Biden’s assigned role is assistant principal. He gets to wield the paddle and chew on Senator McCain (his first major speech will portray Senator McCain’s chief financial advisor as Scrooge McDuck). Paris Hilton did it better. Worse yet, if Joe Biden spends all his time tearing down the other guy, he won’t have time to build better policy. Business as usual in the V.P. department.

The Obama/Biden theme is supposed to be “change.”

Candidates who want to “change the system” don’t want to change the system; candidates who want to change the system actually want their own policies implemented in the system.

A true loose cannon doesn’t care about the system. A true loose cannon doesn’t care about what the other guy does. A true loose cannon will subvert the system and find a way to get the real work done.

And we still need one running for President, darn it. After all, the President sets policy, not the Vice President. The President appoints the judges and signs the Executive Orders, not the Vice President. The President gets the public glory and the public pratfalls, not the Vice President.

The Republicans need one and there is still a (slim) chance they’ll pull it off. I’m not holding my breath.

In the upcoming (and we all hope final) episode of this series about the relative merits of balls for ordnance, I will explain why I really am joining the Librarian party.