Throw Da Bums Out, II

We need a loose cannon in politics now more than ever; it’s too bad today’s politicians shoot blanks.

In the first part of this series, we discovered that our current presidential candidates don’t have the answers.

For about 30 nanoseconds I thought I might vote for Ralph Nader. After all that’s a sure vote for Mickey Mouse or NOTA. Too bad the message sent with that vote is that Mr. Nader represents the change I want to see. That’s not my message so I retracted my Goofy vote last week.

Here’s the right message: officeholders have indeed changed. Officeholders have changed from peeps who want to do important stuff for us to peeps who want to do everything for us. Political party notwithstanding, politicians believe in their hearts of hearts that they know what you need waaaaaaay better than you know what you need. And they have fought each other to a standstill to give it to us. Read that again. It works on a lot of levels.

Sorry, folks. I know what I need and I know who can provide it.

I need less gummint. I need fewer laws. I need smaller taxes. And I need better roads.

Government has five basic responsibilities: establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence (sic), promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty. That’s it. That means the next president needs to teach the kids, build the roads, share knowledge and encourage growth, and keep other people from robbing or nuking us.

Deciding whether a former ballplayer took steroids may keep Senators McCain and Obama (mostly) out of trouble but it ain’t what we elected them for and it ought not be what gets either into higher office.

The senators—that would be the ones who eat at the public trough, not the former ballplayers—spend entirely too much time taking potshots at each other instead of working together to hit a home run for their constituents.

That would be thee and me.

Within the Presidential responsibilities, this campaign has just two issues: the economy and the price of gas. Do you really believe Senator McCain will lead us out of the economic doldrums? Do you really believe Senator Obama will do anything but give away some of the oil we already have? I found a candidate who says she can fix it.

I love Paris in the springtime.
I love Paris in the fall.
I love Paris in the winter when it drizzles,
I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles.
I love Paris every moment,
Every moment of the year.

Sorry, Mr. Porter.

For those who live on another planet, Senator McCain took a cheap shot at Senator Obama and put Paris Hilton in play. Ms. Hilton responded with an energy policy video that makes more sense than anything either candidate has said.

The next president needs to teach the kids, build the roads, share knowledge and encourage growth, and keep other people from robbing or nuking us. Apparently, only a loose cannon can do that.

If Ms. Hilton gives us a 30-second lesson in economics, I’ll endorse her. She could be just the loose cannon we need.

In the upcoming episode of this series about the ballistic properties of ballplayers, I will explain the Democratic shortfall.