US Pony Express mail system frequently delivers my mail to a woman with similar first and surname as that of Mrs Poleczech’s offline name. Our house numbers are the same, and the street name is easily confused if the postal person is in a hurry. UPS never makes that mistake.

One day there was a car accident about a block from my house. The wreck had just happened when I drove up, and the driver of the hittee vehicle asked me to call 911 on my cell because her daughter was faint. I did so — being careful to give the intersection where the accident occurred.

The 911 operator noted that I was on a cell and demanded my name and home address before she would dispatch a unit. I willingly complied, and when I saw that a nurse stopped to attend the young woman, I got in my vehicle and drove to the house. About ten minutes later an EMS unit arrived at my outside gate with a stretcher and all the bag-hanging equipment. They rang the bell and wanted to know where the injured person was.

The inevitable mix-up had occurred.

I pointed to the wreck about 600 feet away and asked them how them missed seeing it. The answer was that they came in “the back way” via their GPS.

(We don’t need no steenkin’ house number)

— George